Raging Cabbit -or- Fatal Faerie Fury

[cabbitzilla]

I've got control of my temper again, though I'm still more than a little angry.

My throat is raw. And my hand hurts.

I left out of here earlier to go to Denny's. I needed a meal, the ability to smoke while having it, and to just in general get out of this little plaster and steel box for a bit. The food was hot and decent, waitress was friendly, and my mood had in general picked up more than a bit. I headed back here to the apartment, figuring I'd sit and watch some more B5 episodes before diving back into Guild Wars... not expecting idiocy to try and kill me on the road back.

There's a short stretch on the way back where I'm on Rte 32, between where I jump off of US 1 and then off the highway onto Broken Land Parkway. It's short... only a couple miles. But as this is the second time I've nearly gotten fragged in that same short stretch, I'll be going another way now.

I'm rolling down the right lane, the cruise control set just below 60mph and me just generally minding my own business, when a red Cooper Mini rockets by me so fast I feel the truck shift in its' wake. I have NO idea what this asscookie's problem was, but as he cleared the nose of the truck, he slammed on his brakes and slid sideways into my path, the car up on two wheels and threatening to roll. Hitting the brakes alone would've only guaranteed plowing -through- this fuckwit, so I ... well, the best description is that I let go. I stepped back and let the combat computer that sits in the back of my head, dusty as it has gotten over the past years, take over. A hard burst on the accellerator to change the truck's vector from Mini-ville to the shoulder, and then a series of tap-stomp-tap hits on the brakes of the Explorer. It's neither a light vehicle OR a particularly nimble one, but neither were the limos I used to drive. The truck went into an arcing slide, skirting around the asshole on the shoulder, where I got it stopped and realized I'd forgotten to breath.

I rolled out of the truck and stalked back along the driver's side, scanning the body to make sure I'd not gotten clipped by a piece from the red piece of shit that caused the problems. Everything checked fine... and then behind me I hear a nasally, snarky voice: "What the fuck is your problem, you fat faggot lunatic?"

I turned and noted several things: 1) the red Mini had ended up on the shoulder directly behind the Explorer, 2) two county troopers were climbing out of their cruisers behind it, and 3) the driver of the Mini was in my face screaming obscenities.

And then he hit me.

Time slowed down. One trooper was clawing for his sidearm, the other charging forward to try and stop the fight they both knew was going to happen. The Mini's driver had a ~what're you gonna do about it?!~ look on his face. And then my right landed just under the edge of his jaw. He went backwards over the hood of his precious fucking roller skate and collapsed in a pile wailing about his dental work, the charging trooper arrived and pushed me back and just held up his hands ("Enough!" being the message there), and I realized that the insanely loud roar that was filling the air was coming from me.

Officer A was calming me down as things started picking back up to normal speed. I heard the ratcheting click of handcuffs, and then heard the now-slurred words from the Mini's driver protesting that he'd been hit, dammit. The look on my face made the officer with me flinch, but I'll give the man credit where it's due: outmassed and likely outmuscled, he didn't give ground. And then came the sweetest words I'd heard all day, from the other officer as he hauled mister Mini back to his cruiser: "Yes, but you hit him first. Which means that in addition to being under arrest for reckless driving, I've got to go ask Thor son of Odin back there if he wants to press assault chargers against you..."

The thoughts that ran through my head at that were, in order:

• Thor?
• But I'm wearing pink socks, and jeans with embroidered flowers on them... Maybe Loki.
• Bring that fucking bastard back here so I can show him what happens when you fuck with a lord of Chaos...

For what it's worth, I declined pressing charges. My face hardly shows the bruise where the whiney bitch hit me, and I know for a fact that I knocked three of his teeth out... they went into a baggy as further evidence. As did the ziplock baggy of white powder that'd slid out from under his seat in the on-road mayhem... I spent enough years with spoon and straw to know what that means. The officer with the new guest in the back seat headed off for the station to get him booked, after calling an impound wrecker for the car. The other officer waited until the other cruiser'd pulled out, and then asked me where the hell I'd learned to drive like that, and which God did I swear fealty to that could keep an SUV from rolling while doing that kind of power slide maneuver. 'Limos' didn't impress him... but 'inner city Chicago' did. Turns out he's originally from Gary, Indiana. He left me a number to call if I change my mind about the assault charges, made sure I was okay, and then took off after his partner.

I had a pair of cigarettes, noted that my hand was going to start hurting soon, and headed back here to put a frozen burrito on my knuckles (what? I don't OWN an icepack).

Crys, the truck -is- all right. For that matter -I- am all right.

Though I wish the Mini's driver'd at least managed to stay standing long enough to hit him a few more times.

Comments

[maggiebowgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I am very glad you came out okay and that that asshole got what was coming to him. It's nice to know that on occasion, those guys do get caught.

Thor. Heh.

M

[rynchan.livejournal.com]

*hugsgently* Meep! I'm glad you came through it okay with minimal damages mew!

And for that matter, I wish I lived down nearer to ya so I could help you with all this moving stuff and whatever..well, whatever a little clockwork girl could do mew...*sighs*

*hugs*
Takes a licking and keeps on ticking...
Rynnie

[invader-tak-1.livejournal.com]

I think you shoud have filed charges. a few months in the slam as someones bitch, and mister whiney would be a little quieter about fags.

I can dream can't I? ;)

[rowandoll.livejournal.com]

Erf...

Aw, honey. Glad the cops saw everything.

hehehehe

[performingdude.livejournal.com]

Way to go, baber. Work out that aggression.

*hug*

[shikyrie.livejournal.com]

Glad you're ok... an glad the oaf got what he deserved... though, if it were me in your place, I would have beat the shit out of him til someone had pulled me off... stupid people anyway... {{{hugs}}}

[corona688.livejournal.com]

Sweet holy hell. I'm glad you're OK. I hope they throw the book at that guy, looks like they got plenty of charges other than assault.

Burritos are way better than icepacks. Icepacks taste terrible.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

*laughs*
Yeah, well. I -ALWAYS- have frozen burritos on hand. Er... as it were. Right. I'll be over here, then...

[sapphire-d.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm glad that you came out relatively unscathed. I laughed my ass off about being called Thor... he'd probably not heard of Hecate or some random other one. :)

[m-masque.livejournal.com]

I'll add my own thanks that you came out no worse for this than a sore hand and sour mood.

And I'll give the cop credit for any mythological reference at all and double credit for selecting Thor over, say, Ares/Mars.

As much as you don't like some of the things that make you what you are, I, for one, am glad that there's some of that stuff hardwired into you; I'd rather have you sore and sour than splattered all over the road.

*hugs*

[arwen77.livejournal.com]

More power to ya, I say.

And so glad you landed a couple of sensible cops to go with your righteous anger venting.

(Admit it - it did feel good to lay him flat, neh?)

Go Thor. ;)