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Feb. 5th, 2004 01:06 amBeen a day or so, I know. Things are... a mite scrambled on my end. The upshot of it is that the chemical imbalances brought on by the loss for a week plus of my pain meds totally hashed everything else... including, apparently, my antidepressants. It's proved a very bumpy ride indeed, with me flitting from broken sobbing to flat out raging and back again. Fortunately for the folks around me, more time has been spent at the bottom end than anywhere else; nobody's been hurt, and I'm working extra hard to lock things down again so that it -stays- that way.
Somewhere in the maundering meanderings on Monday night, I resumed my six-month-long hunt for one of the dozen or more pictures that had been snapped of me at AnthroCon last July (AC '03). I figured it would be a good way to waste a lot of time, hopefully letting me pass through that particular patch of darkness before I had to sleep. After a couple of hours of pointlessness, I stumbled into a photo gallery that I'd not encountered before, with eight pages of pics I'd not had a chance to scan. I settled in, quite sure that it'd be another fistful of nothing... never dreaming that horror lurked on Page Five.
Now the setup for this is fairly simple, and completely innocent (as hard as that may be for some of you to believe. I was standing quietly and chatting with a much adored friend of mine that fursuits (Fifi). This random stranger guy just strolled up behind me and grabbed a double handful of my ass, said 'Nice and firm. Keep up the good work, Ma'am', and vanished back into the crowd. This picture... fourth row, first pic... was snapped right -after- that; I didn't know until Monday night that it had been taken at ALL! I was too busy trying to not fall over in shock, and ten seconds later Fifi was holding me up, because I'd lost my balance. We're talking a 5-10 second window of opportunity here, tops. And I was so damned startled at being... hell, 'groped' doesn't touch it. MOLESTED. ... that I totally missed a camera going off...I look like I've just had a frozen trout shoved up my ass, but there it is.
Now normally I'm fairly tongue-in-cheek about my looks; I'm well aware that I'll never be a fashion plate or a high priced model, but the frame of mind I was in when I found that proved to be... difficult. I think the words 'horrified', 'devastated', and 'utterly crushed' would be a good start on what that simple photo did to me. Several folks with whom I'd been chatting then decided to (independantly of each other) barrage me with pokes and prods about letting it get to me. It finally sank in sometime in the wee hours of this morning that, to be blunt, it's just a fucking picture and I really needed to get over myself. :p And as the day has passed... that photo, and my 'What the bloody hell just happened here?!' expression has gotten funnier and funnier. *shakes her head* Of all the pictures that got taken, not -ONE- of the nice ones have appeared. So this is all you get, people. :p
Nasty comments will be routed to /dev/null ...
I can't remember who's journal I poached this one from, but ... it really needs to be disseminated, so here it is:
And if it makes no sense to you at all, then you REALLY need to go take a better look at Shrub's education programs. This isn't a joke; our teachers are having this rammed down thier throats, and an entire generation of children is going to suffer for it.
On a lighter note: Numbered amongst my friends are more than a few who are fans of the Babylon 5 cosmology, and this tidbit is for you. Courtesy of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
phaex, I now know that Voltayre's Encyclopedia Xenobiologica is back. Enjoy, darlings.
I think I'm going to go back to windowshopping online clothing stores; I can't afford anything, but looking at the pictures at least keeps some of the gloom away. I really want my brain to level off so the Lexapro starts working. Until then, I'll sit here and dream...
Somewhere in the maundering meanderings on Monday night, I resumed my six-month-long hunt for one of the dozen or more pictures that had been snapped of me at AnthroCon last July (AC '03). I figured it would be a good way to waste a lot of time, hopefully letting me pass through that particular patch of darkness before I had to sleep. After a couple of hours of pointlessness, I stumbled into a photo gallery that I'd not encountered before, with eight pages of pics I'd not had a chance to scan. I settled in, quite sure that it'd be another fistful of nothing... never dreaming that horror lurked on Page Five.
Now the setup for this is fairly simple, and completely innocent (as hard as that may be for some of you to believe. I was standing quietly and chatting with a much adored friend of mine that fursuits (Fifi). This random stranger guy just strolled up behind me and grabbed a double handful of my ass, said 'Nice and firm. Keep up the good work, Ma'am', and vanished back into the crowd. This picture... fourth row, first pic... was snapped right -after- that; I didn't know until Monday night that it had been taken at ALL! I was too busy trying to not fall over in shock, and ten seconds later Fifi was holding me up, because I'd lost my balance. We're talking a 5-10 second window of opportunity here, tops. And I was so damned startled at being... hell, 'groped' doesn't touch it. MOLESTED. ... that I totally missed a camera going off...I look like I've just had a frozen trout shoved up my ass, but there it is.
Now normally I'm fairly tongue-in-cheek about my looks; I'm well aware that I'll never be a fashion plate or a high priced model, but the frame of mind I was in when I found that proved to be... difficult. I think the words 'horrified', 'devastated', and 'utterly crushed' would be a good start on what that simple photo did to me. Several folks with whom I'd been chatting then decided to (independantly of each other) barrage me with pokes and prods about letting it get to me. It finally sank in sometime in the wee hours of this morning that, to be blunt, it's just a fucking picture and I really needed to get over myself. :p And as the day has passed... that photo, and my 'What the bloody hell just happened here?!' expression has gotten funnier and funnier. *shakes her head* Of all the pictures that got taken, not -ONE- of the nice ones have appeared. So this is all you get, people. :p
Nasty comments will be routed to /dev/null ...
I can't remember who's journal I poached this one from, but ... it really needs to be disseminated, so here it is:
And if it makes no sense to you at all, then you REALLY need to go take a better look at Shrub's education programs. This isn't a joke; our teachers are having this rammed down thier throats, and an entire generation of children is going to suffer for it.
On a lighter note: Numbered amongst my friends are more than a few who are fans of the Babylon 5 cosmology, and this tidbit is for you. Courtesy of
phaex, I now know that Voltayre's Encyclopedia Xenobiologica is back. Enjoy, darlings.I think I'm going to go back to windowshopping online clothing stores; I can't afford anything, but looking at the pictures at least keeps some of the gloom away. I really want my brain to level off so the Lexapro starts working. Until then, I'll sit here and dream...
