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cabbitzillaI think I understand, now.
Recently I ... had the helm of TR dumped in my lap, and have been battling to try and sort out staff tensions, code headaches, and the twink subset that plagues most every game.
I'm burning out fast, and I know it. I've become snappish, crisp, and taken to hiding.
It occured to me that this... this set of responses... this is what I saw in M on B5... what worried me so very much, and what defeated my every attempt to try and help. What finally resulted in the shattering of several friendships.
If this is the road she walked... is there any other path than the destruction at the end? Is that what she wanted, or did she do this wondering and searching as well?
I'm pinned in place. I took the reigns in an effort to save TR from self annihilation... and ended up the target myself. This staffer dislikes that staffer, who doesn't trust -that- staffer, who thinks I favor /that/ staffer.... and on and on and on. Characters go IC without any sanity checks from staff, and Backgrounds are cursory at best. Every effort I've made towards change has been met with resistance, to the point where I simply want a large bat to beat people with.
If I leave, the place is likely to self destruct in short order. If I stay, it may well kill me. M, lovie, if you're still out there reading... is this what you were dealing with? Is there an honorable out that I've missed?
*sigh* This wouldn't hurt so badly if TR weren't a favorite game of mine...
~Elisabeth
Recently I ... had the helm of TR dumped in my lap, and have been battling to try and sort out staff tensions, code headaches, and the twink subset that plagues most every game.
I'm burning out fast, and I know it. I've become snappish, crisp, and taken to hiding.
It occured to me that this... this set of responses... this is what I saw in M on B5... what worried me so very much, and what defeated my every attempt to try and help. What finally resulted in the shattering of several friendships.
If this is the road she walked... is there any other path than the destruction at the end? Is that what she wanted, or did she do this wondering and searching as well?
I'm pinned in place. I took the reigns in an effort to save TR from self annihilation... and ended up the target myself. This staffer dislikes that staffer, who doesn't trust -that- staffer, who thinks I favor /that/ staffer.... and on and on and on. Characters go IC without any sanity checks from staff, and Backgrounds are cursory at best. Every effort I've made towards change has been met with resistance, to the point where I simply want a large bat to beat people with.
If I leave, the place is likely to self destruct in short order. If I stay, it may well kill me. M, lovie, if you're still out there reading... is this what you were dealing with? Is there an honorable out that I've missed?
*sigh* This wouldn't hurt so badly if TR weren't a favorite game of mine...
~Elisabeth
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Date: 2002-03-26 07:46 am (UTC)I can also tell you that friendships made there, even if I don't talk to them much (like you) mean something and will last. It's the people who never gave a care to work, or help, but wanted to reap the benifits regardless that got to me.
You can only do so much - Keep that in mind. If you're running the ship, they are the tools to help keep it running. If they're not doing their jobs, they either have to shape up, or get out.
If I've learned one thing in my Mu*ing carrer, it's that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
I found out that I wasn't burned out on admining. I was burned out on adminning on places where people said they wanted to help, but then never did.
Don't let them sap the fun out of the game for you. If they want you to fix things, fix them and don't look back at the aftermath. Too much, anyways. Good luck, you, and I'm glad to see you still around.