It's on my mind...

[cabbitzilla]

And it has been since yesterday morning. I was mulling over my past, and the questions that still remain (and what's happened when someone tried to help me find answers). I was out driving; it seems to be where I do most of my coherent thinking, with my mind sorted and focused. The radio was interfering with my thoughts, creating a disjointed spikiness that was disconcerting. I remember flipping through stations, finding nothing suitable, and finally took to hunting down a local country station. And the song that I found there is still playing in my head, managing to drown out Iced Earth, Manowar, and Disturbed...

Martina McBride
Concrete Angel

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

And at the end, all that there is for me is more questions... questions that are difficult to even -think- of facing. But they'll have to wait until tomorrow; the Remeron is fogging my mind and sleep awaits for at least a couple hours. I know that just the thought of country music makes some folks nauseous, but ... well, you've seen the lyrics. If you're curious, go listen to it. If not, well... I refuse to force-feed myself, much less anyone else.

Good night.
~Ellie-chan

Comments

[m-masque.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm always around in spirit for you if not always in voice/typing/etc.

You'll find your way through this, you're already moving in the right directions simply by keeping moving on it.

Does it really matter what style the music is if you like the song?

Masque