Let's go to the MailBag, shall we?

[cabbitzilla]

Received about an hour ago:

Jesus, Ellie, what the hell is up with the hostile away message? Moodiness is one thing, but isn't this a bit excessive? At least give some sort of explanation of what's going on, will ya?

... fine. Whatever.

PT went better than normal today. There's evidence of some considerable healing, so finally that's looking up. I came home, fscked about a bit with a jigsaw puzzle program I have, and answered a couple of emails. My mood was less than spectacular; it had already been a day of crying for no apparent reason, but I was still marginally functional. I realized as the afternoon rolled onwards that I needed to hit the pet shop for piggy bedding, so I put all the hardware back on my leg and headed for the store. Petsmart was a quick in-out trip, relatively painless, and I opted to wander into the adjacent Best Buy in hopes of finding something interesting to poke at. *shrugs* Lots of interestings, and insufficient cash, but it killed some time.

Two thirds of the way across the parking lot, I hear heavy boot treads behind me, and a stereotypical southern drawl: "Lookie here, Jeff. I think we got one 'a them there faggots.". My mind immediately did a fast inventory of what I was wearing even as I turned to make sure it wasn't aimed at someone else. Two 30-something men. Nobody else within reach. And my clothing inventory came back with a handful of pieces that were female but neutral appearing, and -nothing- even slightly flambouyant. Great. I attempted a tactful nod and went to move away, and redneck #1's ham-sized fist closed around my arm to turn me back. The conversation, if you could call it that, went downhill fast, and I was trying to figure out which of these bastards was the more dangerous when the cavalry arrived in the form of two plainclothes Maryland troopers who'd apparently also been in Best Buy. The redneck duo decided that I wasn't worth it at that point and made themselves scarce, leaving me alternating between near hysterics and thundering rage.

And there I've been since, though it's finally started to ebb now. I'm coherent enough to make a post, at least. I'm also coherent enough to point this out: if my away message is snarky, sending me a snarky email about it is only going to focus that anger on -you-. As the expression goes, taunt not the happy fun cabbit. Now I'm going to go fire up a game and blow sh!t up for a while. It's been therapeutic thus far.

Comments

[fixx.livejournal.com]

I have to wonder if at the time that you had the first incident if he was really there to apply for a job but got scared off by the cops that day, and if so how awkward it would have been had he become employed prior to your next visit.

As for finding my journal... honestly, I've no idea at all who you are, but you seemed nice enough.

It probably wasn't that amazing at the time. I was probably doing an "LJ-connect" to someone else and you appeared in one of the hops. But now that I'm trying to figure it out it has caused me to examine your profile that much more closely.

that DNA resequencing was probably a bit out of Best Buy's league. Fortunately he didn't press for an explanation. :)

Yeah, but I might :-). While trying to figure out how I found you today I came across "Transfurry" and looked into that. That's not how I found you but it explains a bit more of why your appearance might confused rednecks. I'm XXY myself, something I don't discuss on LJ particularly as it happens, but I like to joke, "I'm on LJ... Yeah I'm fixx with two X's" Woosh right over their heads most of the time, and a good laugh if they get it.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

*chuckles softly*
Trust me, I can appreciate it. And those with half a clue will immediately understand, while my 'butchered at birth' seems to prompt an onslaught of questions, layman's legal advice, and pity. The first two I can handle.

The third leaves me wishing for a sawed off double-ought with rocksalt loads.

TF only recently expanded to LiveJournal; it's been around in mailing list form for years, though I very rarely speak up anymore. The dominant vocal minority are all gender warrior types these days; they want to be as inventively outrageous and abnormal as they can possibly be and somehow make the public accept them. I just want to be what I need to be and be left alone; this isn't a political fight for me, it's just an attempt to live. After the fourth or fifth flame burst over my moderate stance (and accusations that I was somehow selling out), I'd had enough. *shrugs* I'm not going to beat my head against someone's brick wall. Most of the TF folk are quite lovely, though, just a handful that seem to believe shouting is the answer that make it difficult for others to coexist.

The 'DNA resequencing' reference ties to the 'butchered at birth' that I try very hard not to use nowadays. Born intersexed, the birthing physician took it upon himself to decide that boys were somehow more valuable than girls... and never bothered to inform my parents of his subsequent entry into the Asshole of the Century pageant. Puberty, at least the male form, never arrived; another overzealous physician decided to 'fix' me with a series of massive testosterone boosters. The end result is anything but pretty.

[fixx.livejournal.com]

I began reading about this stuff about 10 years ago, not when I was actually diagnosed, which was about 10 years before that but when I learned what it actually "meant". Since then I've been trying to educate people about intersexed at birth and to underscore that the unnecessary alteration of infants is not only cruel but unwise, especially if at the same time you are going to base their rights to marry on a perfect alignment between their physical gender and sexual orientation. You might even be interested to know I posted *this* a few weeks ago.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/fixx/180435.html

Looking over your profile yet further I opened your website. OK wow I missed that. Oops! It's mothers like yours that make me want to see laws that make christianity and parenting mutually exclusive practices.

I really have no idea if I was altered at birth or not. My mom was pretty honest with me, or so I hoped, and she never suggested there was anything weirder about me than what I call "a cleft foreskin" and I think that if they'd done anything they'd have circumcised me also and they didn't so I think my condition is essentially natural.

But I understand about the hormone shots. I missed most of my puberty too and had my puberty in my early 20s, but a crazy one because my testicles actually work a little bit so this crazy doctor was overdosing me. Another doctor told me I didn't need that at all, but then for 10 years I was chronically ill before I came up with the idea of simply taking lower doses, which is what I'm doing right now and I'm in the best health of my life physically speaking. Emotionally speaking is another matter.

I'm a member on this website which I'd assume you'd know about but in case you don't here it is.

http://www.bodieslikeours.org/content/view/289/183/

I've opted to direct you to a news page which is currently on my mind. It bugs the crap out of me that we can talk freely about FGM overseas as a form of terrorism but if you talk about it as something that goes on in THIS country it is considered indecent and worthy of a fine.