A more coherent post...
May. 2nd, 2005 09:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cabbitzillaOkay, I've got a half solid grip on my sanity again, so here's what's going on.
When I got up this morning, -both- knees and the left hip were giving twinges. I knew there was rain coming in, but figured there was no harm in being cautious. I rearranged my plans to limit my activity to just the therapy appointment at 6:00 and a brief stop at the grocery store for essentials on the way home. No point in being reckless, right? Except I didn't get that far.
I opted to take a nap this afternoon, so I wouldn't be panting by the end of the therapy session. When I rolled out of bed, standing up was done on the left leg (as has become my habit since the right knee came apart about a month and a half ago. I stepped off, completely straight, and as my weight settled onto there was a loud-ish *snap* and then I was on the floor with tears already flowing. I knew by the time I hit what'd happened, why it happened... and what it meant.
You see, tomorrow at 4:00 is my follow-up appointment with the orthopedic doctor. I'd been, until this afternoon, looking forward to walking in under my own power and hearing that surgery wasn't necessary. With this being the second re-injury in a 30-day window, I'm now expecting that the exact opposite is true... made interesting by the fact that Megan leaves for her England/Ireland trip with her family in about a week and a half, to be gone for two weeks.
Surgery, even the idea of it, terrifies me. While I know knee repair has advanced amazing leaps and bounds since it was suggested in 1982ish to repair the left knee, the idea that there's ANY chance I won't walk again has a panic attack hovering just beyond the edges of my control. I... if that's the prognosis, I will likely not be around tomorrow. I'll either curl up in a ball and cry, or bury myself in a book or something. Right now, I'm trying to keep myself busy.
So I've now managed, after scavenging a copy of PartitionMagic v8.0, to get the external USB 60gb drive formatted as FAT32... which all of my systems will read. In the process, I learned that WindowsXP will only format a FAT32 partition of 32gb or less; Microshaft's way of forcing folks to switch to NTFS. PM8 /will/, however, so *thbbtbtbt* to M$. My music library is in the process of copying back to the aptly named MusicBox, where it'll be happy again. What I can reach of my room has been straightened, Vickie's cage has been cleaned (thank you, Crys, you're a Godsend), and blessedly I did my laundry in the wee hours of the morning, so at least I've got clean underwear and socks. With a bit of help from Crys I've ransacked my piles of CDs and pulled viewing material out to keep me busy.
And that's all I've got.
When I got up this morning, -both- knees and the left hip were giving twinges. I knew there was rain coming in, but figured there was no harm in being cautious. I rearranged my plans to limit my activity to just the therapy appointment at 6:00 and a brief stop at the grocery store for essentials on the way home. No point in being reckless, right? Except I didn't get that far.
I opted to take a nap this afternoon, so I wouldn't be panting by the end of the therapy session. When I rolled out of bed, standing up was done on the left leg (as has become my habit since the right knee came apart about a month and a half ago. I stepped off, completely straight, and as my weight settled onto there was a loud-ish *snap* and then I was on the floor with tears already flowing. I knew by the time I hit what'd happened, why it happened... and what it meant.
You see, tomorrow at 4:00 is my follow-up appointment with the orthopedic doctor. I'd been, until this afternoon, looking forward to walking in under my own power and hearing that surgery wasn't necessary. With this being the second re-injury in a 30-day window, I'm now expecting that the exact opposite is true... made interesting by the fact that Megan leaves for her England/Ireland trip with her family in about a week and a half, to be gone for two weeks.
Surgery, even the idea of it, terrifies me. While I know knee repair has advanced amazing leaps and bounds since it was suggested in 1982ish to repair the left knee, the idea that there's ANY chance I won't walk again has a panic attack hovering just beyond the edges of my control. I... if that's the prognosis, I will likely not be around tomorrow. I'll either curl up in a ball and cry, or bury myself in a book or something. Right now, I'm trying to keep myself busy.
So I've now managed, after scavenging a copy of PartitionMagic v8.0, to get the external USB 60gb drive formatted as FAT32... which all of my systems will read. In the process, I learned that WindowsXP will only format a FAT32 partition of 32gb or less; Microshaft's way of forcing folks to switch to NTFS. PM8 /will/, however, so *thbbtbtbt* to M$. My music library is in the process of copying back to the aptly named MusicBox, where it'll be happy again. What I can reach of my room has been straightened, Vickie's cage has been cleaned (thank you, Crys, you're a Godsend), and blessedly I did my laundry in the wee hours of the morning, so at least I've got clean underwear and socks. With a bit of help from Crys I've ransacked my piles of CDs and pulled viewing material out to keep me busy.
And that's all I've got.
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-03 01:54 am (UTC)Is this an option in lieu of the repair?
no subject
Date: 2005-05-03 02:10 am (UTC)Oddly, the idea of fully replacing the knee doesn't create anywhere NEAR the twitch that the concept of repairing the existing structure does... probably because I know too many folk who've had the repair done only to need it repeated several years later.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-03 02:16 am (UTC)*hugsgently*
Rynnie
no subject
Date: 2005-05-03 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-03 11:41 am (UTC)As far as the knees, I'm crossing all sorts of body parts for you. :)