Changes

There've been a couple of minor changes, courtesy of someone I'd considered a friend going completely psycho tonight. Anonymous comment posting is now disabled, and a new name's been added to the banned list.... along with the four 'dildobucket' accounts. There're a couple of folks who're not members of LJ who read my journal, and a couple more who can't easily log in from work sites to read locked posts; for the moment, my journal is still operating in the clear, though that may change if it becomes an issue again.

I'll state this here, publicly, for the record:
DO NOT ever put me in the position of having to chose between you (in the broad, general sense) and person [x]. The person that forces that choice loses. Period. Going psycho on me doesn't accomplish much of anything aside from your removal from my list of friends. I treasure and cherish all of my friends, particularly the ones I consider family... but nobody puts me in that spot. Kapische?

That done, I'm going to go have another cigarette. The alternative is to resume punching things, and having one half of my desk staved in and my hand bandaged in a quarter mile of gauze only underscores the folly of that path.

This didn't have to happen. This happened because one person felt the need to play God and judge everyone else by their own personal standard. After months of patiently trying to explain that different things work for different folks, I'm face to face with the proof that some people don't want to be happy. They're only content when they're miserable, and foisting that misery off on anyone around them. That's not who I am, it's not who I've ever been, it's not who I will be, and I won't tolerate it any longer.

I'm very sorry for the folks who've been stopping by, dropping comments even when they weren't LJ members, for the change in posting permissions. I can't even begin to explain how much it hurts, after years of managing to make myself be open and honest, that I've not got to close a door because of a single malcontent.

Many many thanks to Fate, fossy, and pup for the supportive words. Apologies to those afronted. And prayers that nobody else feels it necessary to push me into rage. I left this behind me over a decade ago, and wish it to stay gone.

Good night.

Aftermath

Well, welcome to the joys of clarity in the morning.

Last night proved to be one of the roughest in a long time. Someone else's (to my mind) narrow minded and puzzlingly hostile world view impacted me directly. In the carnage that resulted, my friends list is now one less, and my right hand is bandaged following the caving in of the drawer front of my steel desk. The single most frustrating aspect is that it was completely avoidable and unnecessary; it was a deliberate and pre-meditated step across the line of social courtesy. I don't understand why common decency is such a hard concept for some folk to adapt to. Where is the sense is being nasty and judgmental, when the biggest problem you face is other folk being nasty and judgmental towards you?

*shakes her head* It was pointed out by someone dear last night that I'm accomplishing nothing with my mental tail chasing on this one; there simply isn't an answer that my mind is going to find acceptable. Given that it's become a catch-22, my only real option is to keep moving.

Thank you to the small legion of friends who, knowing only that something had gone horribly wrong, were kind and supportive. In the last two weeks that kind of mood crash has become unusual... and to be honest, while I'm a bit sad that things ended as they did, I'm still in a decent mood. I need to get dressed and make a run to the store, since there's very little left here that's edible. Since I'm actually hungry today, as opposed to yesterday's shocked realization at 3:30am that I'd not eaten at all, I think it's a necessary trip. The thunderstorms that raged through the area last night have abated; it's still overcast, but it's not raining.

*blinks* Well. With the bandage removed, there's one spot where the skin's cracked open completely. Only on. *puzzled frown* How in the heck did that much blood come out of one tiny place? Anyway, the swelling's down as well. While it hurt like hell to rub the BioFreeze stuff into it last night, it seems to have done the trick. Excellent.

And life continues. So allow me to get out of the way and yell GAME ON!.

*blows kisses and pads off to get dressed*

An Actual Exchange..

Ellie is sitting at her desk, quietly amusing herself with the little shockwave game associated with Evil Dead 1&2: The Musical. Megan, sensing that the Ellie is amused and busy, approaches.

Megan	What's that? It looks interesting.
Ellie	A theater group in Canada's made a musical out of Sam Raimi's Evil Dead films. This is a little game on their website.
Megan	I've never seen them.
Ellie	I know. But every time I suggest renting Army of Darkness, you get cranky and whiney. It's the most amusing in the series; the other two are probably too far into the horror genre for you. AoD is -fun-, but you won't let me rent it.
Megan	I keep telling you, I don't like Kurt Russel
Ellie	... *expression somehow reminiscent of the end of episode multi-car pileup from most any episode of CHiPs* What does that have to do with anything?
Megan	I don't want to see a movie with him in it.
Ellie	... ... Kurt Russell isn't in AoD.
Megan	Yeah he is. He's the big role in it.
Ellie	*trying very hard to keep the 'you're a fscking idiot' expression off her face* Kurt Russell is known for being Snake Plissken, Colonel O'Neil, and Jack Burton. He's not in any of the ED/AoD films. That's not Kurt Russell... that's Bruce Campbell.
Megan	Well, whoever he is, I don't like him.
Ellie	*trying desperately to think of something Mr Campbell has been in that Megan's seen, comes up empty* What have you seen him in that you didn't like? *pulls up IMDB to get full movie credits... goes from top to bottom, without a single hit until we get to the miscellaneous Xena and Hercules credits. She's not seen /any/ films with Campbell in them...*
Megan	Well, I don't have to know who he is to not like him.
Ellie	... ... ... You need to go away now, before I start making unkind comparisons between you and my mother.
Megan	*storms off*

*blinkblinks, the collapses in laughter* I need to start keeping notes on this stuff; this would be an awesome sitcom vehicle for someone with an expressive face. *laughs more* What the hell, maybe we can get Kurt Russell and Bruce Campbell cast into it somewhere. *shakes her head, thoroughly baffled* And if anyone ever wondered why I'm as completely warped as I am, you now have exhibit A as proof. :p

*^.^*