(no subject)

Given my mood at the moment... well, it's force of will that's keeping this from being another bleak haiku or a longwinded rant about the ills of society. It's the wee hours of the morning... and my mood is notoriously low thereabouts.

But on the whole, it's been a constructive, productive day. A ... a growing worry-turning-into-cancerous-doubt was dealt with today; hopefully the spectre of that one will cease plaguing me. *lopsided smile* It'd be nice to grow up just a -little-, you know?

And all of the computers are (knock on wood) behaving... though the iTunes playlist is.. well, I'm fairly sure the silly thing's possessed. It's jumping from Air Supply to Lords of Acid (and if you don't think that's odd, try listening to Lost In Love, and then getting dropped into Crablouse and Take Control)... and from there to Boltthrower with a Beethoven chaser. Very peculiar, it is. And it might just be a better randomizer algorithm than WinAmp uses. *shrugs, then smiles as it flips to her favorite A.F.I. tune*

Yeah, I'm babbling. I do that sometimes. *waves to the folk that've friended her recently* Old friends and new. That in itself is spiffy... new friends are welcome, and the old ones are nothing short of wonderful. All the more reason for me to be cheerful.

And that's really all I have. I'm going to go stare at Polecat's art some more, okie? There're a handful of pieces that make me feel warm inside... something I've not felt since July last year... and it looks like there's not going to be a repeat. So I'm going to stare at art. G'nite.

EDIT:
I found this after I'd posted, so I'm tacking it on rather than making a separate post. And I REALLY hope it's not true:

elisabeth is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.

N POISON

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

*sigh*

It's not often that the fights that rage in this house are my fault. Usually it's a result of snide comments aimed at me over the state of the house or my odd hours.

Tonight.... well, tonight it was my fault. :(

Overheating and well into withdrawal, I launched an attack. No topic, no point, and no excuse. I've apologized four or five times already, and Megan's mood is finally started to settle. And I still don't know why... because when I stopped yelling, I suddenly couldn't remember why I was yelling in the first place. For whatever reason, I've been an utter and intractable bitch tonight.

I'm really hoping that the realization will snap the pattern.

As for this... I'm aware that there're only a handful of people who pay any attention to me. My choices are to a) fold this journal and walk away, b) get snippy and prune the hell out of my friends list, c) go back to posting nothing but quizzes, since they pulled attention, or d) shrug it off as best I can and just let it ride.

After a few days of thought, I've opted for selection D. When I started this journal, it was primarily so that I'd have a place to vent and/or brain dump; I can sort rationally when I can see it in front of me, and it helps me keep my thoughts clear of the paranoia and fear and self-loathing. It was strictly for me; other folks were welcome to wander through, but they were not the focus. It's time I shifted back to that stance... so my rants and thoughts and mopishness and silliness will continue regardless of readership. Several of the folks I hold dear have locked their journals down to friends only - after some thought... no. I am who I am, and the folks that wander in can accept that or fsck off. *shrugs* In the end, nothing changes. And life goes on.

Cheers,
~ellie