![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Hairy Fishnuts!
Dec. 25th, 2002 01:40 pmYes, I know it's been a while since I posted. Deal with it; as busy as things have been, anyone that gives me grief over it is gonna get a faceful of pissed off dolly. That said, let's get on with the show.
Generally for me, Christmas is a very bleak and melancholy time. The grey weather, combined with the over-commercialization of a Christian holiday that -they- originally hijacked from much older pagan traditions to try and dilute them further... well, you get the idea. And up till about two weeks ago, this year looked to be more of the same; I was -not- looking forward to the holiday at all.
Then things started happening around me. The first occurence was NOT a happy one; one of the members of my counselling support group committed suicide by slitting his own throat. He was one of the few from the group that I genuinely liked, and his death hit me like an anvil. I... can only hope that he's happier where he is now. Goodbye, my friend... I'll miss you.
At the time, it seemed a rather ominous precursor to the holiday. But in the end, I know that I need to focus on the living, rather than the dead, so I pushed on. I buried myself in busywork at home to keep myself from dwelling on it. I'd managed to completely dig out the living room last week and get my computer set up on a table (so I wouldn't have to try and sit on the floor anymore) when I heard the mailman at the door. I was up, so I went ahead and got the mail.
In it, was a letter from the Social Security Administration. A thick envelope; I was sure it was yet another rejection and tossed it in the little basket I keep at the door for the mail. Then I changed my mind and opened it, ripping out the thick sheaf of papers. Across the top of the first sheet were the words 'Fully Favorable', and I nearly passed out.
After nearly two years of fighting, my disability benefits had finally been approved. I don't know the amount yet; the SSA apparently does these things in stages, but I should know within 60 days. The wonderful thing about it is that they owe me (via lump sum initial disbursement) 2+ years of benefits. I'll be able to pay Crystal back... bless her heart, she's been covering the mortgage for almost eight months no, so that I wouldn't lose the house.
I sat down on the sofa and cried for nearly an hour. Phone calls to family and my attorney were made. Yes, it was true, and not some cruel hoax. I cried more. Megan finally got home from work and I showed her the papers... and then -she- cried for a while.
I... can breathe again. I'm not going to lose the house. I even qualify for Medicare now. On top of this news, the banking errors between our bank and our mortgage company have finally gotten hammered out; -that- check showed up yesterday. Money has appeared from myriad sources, allowing us to buy food. My refridgerator's not empty!
There's even been an influx of new anime for me to watch, which further brightens my outlook. (Thank you, Sapphi, for Chobits and Hellsing! Thank you, Mom, for volume one of CardCaptor Sakrua! Thank you, Hollywood Video, for Armitage - Dual Matrix!) All things considered, I think this may well be the very best Christmas I've ever had.
To everyone who's had a hand in this: Bless you. I love you all. Yes, R, that includes you, so cope. :p
I need to go. I need to get the laundry from the dryer and get socks, and get dressed to visit my Dad. He lives real close to me, but I haven't seen him in a couple of months. I'm not very good in crowd situations anymore, not at all, but for him it's worth the effort. And the socks might help warm up my toes. :p
*hugs and cuddles* Merry Christmas!
~Ellie-chan
Generally for me, Christmas is a very bleak and melancholy time. The grey weather, combined with the over-commercialization of a Christian holiday that -they- originally hijacked from much older pagan traditions to try and dilute them further... well, you get the idea. And up till about two weeks ago, this year looked to be more of the same; I was -not- looking forward to the holiday at all.
Then things started happening around me. The first occurence was NOT a happy one; one of the members of my counselling support group committed suicide by slitting his own throat. He was one of the few from the group that I genuinely liked, and his death hit me like an anvil. I... can only hope that he's happier where he is now. Goodbye, my friend... I'll miss you.
At the time, it seemed a rather ominous precursor to the holiday. But in the end, I know that I need to focus on the living, rather than the dead, so I pushed on. I buried myself in busywork at home to keep myself from dwelling on it. I'd managed to completely dig out the living room last week and get my computer set up on a table (so I wouldn't have to try and sit on the floor anymore) when I heard the mailman at the door. I was up, so I went ahead and got the mail.
In it, was a letter from the Social Security Administration. A thick envelope; I was sure it was yet another rejection and tossed it in the little basket I keep at the door for the mail. Then I changed my mind and opened it, ripping out the thick sheaf of papers. Across the top of the first sheet were the words 'Fully Favorable', and I nearly passed out.
After nearly two years of fighting, my disability benefits had finally been approved. I don't know the amount yet; the SSA apparently does these things in stages, but I should know within 60 days. The wonderful thing about it is that they owe me (via lump sum initial disbursement) 2+ years of benefits. I'll be able to pay Crystal back... bless her heart, she's been covering the mortgage for almost eight months no, so that I wouldn't lose the house.
I sat down on the sofa and cried for nearly an hour. Phone calls to family and my attorney were made. Yes, it was true, and not some cruel hoax. I cried more. Megan finally got home from work and I showed her the papers... and then -she- cried for a while.
I... can breathe again. I'm not going to lose the house. I even qualify for Medicare now. On top of this news, the banking errors between our bank and our mortgage company have finally gotten hammered out; -that- check showed up yesterday. Money has appeared from myriad sources, allowing us to buy food. My refridgerator's not empty!
There's even been an influx of new anime for me to watch, which further brightens my outlook. (Thank you, Sapphi, for Chobits and Hellsing! Thank you, Mom, for volume one of CardCaptor Sakrua! Thank you, Hollywood Video, for Armitage - Dual Matrix!) All things considered, I think this may well be the very best Christmas I've ever had.
To everyone who's had a hand in this: Bless you. I love you all. Yes, R, that includes you, so cope. :p
I need to go. I need to get the laundry from the dryer and get socks, and get dressed to visit my Dad. He lives real close to me, but I haven't seen him in a couple of months. I'm not very good in crowd situations anymore, not at all, but for him it's worth the effort. And the socks might help warm up my toes. :p
*hugs and cuddles* Merry Christmas!
~Ellie-chan
