To set the record straight...

It wasn't a 15 minute session, it was a 90 minute session... which is -much- better. I was there 15 minutes early, and was called in almost immediately, and we finished in time for Linda (the lady doing the intake paperwork on me) to get her next appointment on time. Blessedly, she didn't seem surprised by any of what was told; in fact, she confirmed the quiet feedback I've been getting in the background of this journal.

My story is, in actuality, typical for my position.

Granted, my 'position' is pretty far off the mainstream 'normal', but ... it's still kinda nice to know I'm not the world's ultimate freak. It also doesn't change the fact that I'm -horribly- drained and exhausted. While most everything that was related has been set down in this journal since the October 14 breakpoint post, it's been a slower progression... and speaking it aloud seems to summon the demons of my past, leaving me desperate for a hug and some sort of acceptance response. The virtual hugs are nice... but not having anyone -here- to do so, understanding what it means, is ... less than fun. Poor Saphi got to deal with a total need/fear collapse: many hugs and kisses to you, darling, for putting up with my insecurities and foolishness... you and perhaps R are the only ones I think understand that particular wellspring of terror.

I... think I'm going to go take a nap or something. Maybe I'll be lucky and it'll last till tomorrow... and the rain will have stopped... and it'll be summer again...

Well, a girl's gotta have dreams, right?

*hugs*
~Ellie-chan