Proud swagger out of the schoolyard Waiting for the world's applause Rebel without a conscience Martyr without a cause
Static on your frequency Electrical storm in your veins Raging at unreachable glory Straining at invisible chains
And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge Staring down into a heartless sea Can't face life on a razor's edge Nothing's what you thought it would be
All of us get lost in the darkness Dreamers learn to steer by the stars All of us do time in the gutter Dreamers turn to look at the cars Turn around and turn around and turn around Turn around and walk the razor's edge Don't turn your back And slam the door on me
It's not as if this barricade Blocks the only road It's not as if you're all alone In wanting to explode
Someone set a bad example Made surrender seem all right The act of a noble warrior Who lost the will to fight
And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge Staring down into a heartless sea Done with life on a razor's edge Nothing's what you thought it would be
No hero in your tragedy No daring in your escape No salutes for your surrender Nothing noble in your fate Christ, what have you done?
Why this particular song? Fourteen years ago, I was a member of my town's volunteer fire department and taking training for my advanced EMT certification. Over all, it was a good challenge and, looking back at it, my only real regret is that I didn't join sooner and continue on to get my Paramedic training before I was 30 and turn it into a profession. That's neither here no there, though.
During that EMT-A training, I hit a wall. Nine hours at work and then a thirty minute or so mad dash to get from work to Akron for three hours of schooling and usually getting home by about 10:30-11:00 pm three nights a week was getting too draining. Book learning was never very hard for me and even the practical, hands-on training was good. Part of the burnout actually came from another student that just never seemed to get the hang of either the book learning or the hands-on. Some of it just came from knowing this would be as high a level of EMT training as I would take. There's no point in becoming a Paramedic unless you're planning on getting paid to do it (1000 hours or more of training and clinical time) and, if you're over 30 years old, you can pretty well forget finding anyone willing to hire you as a beginner Paramedic.
One evening, on that drive home, I had just about made up my mind to leave the class and even the fire department. I just couldn't see the point of continuing.
I'd bought Rush's Presto album the weekend before but hadn't put it into tape player yet to listen to it.
When I listened to "The Pass," all thoughts of dropping out left.
It's not for the glory. It's not for acclaim. It's knowing that one little bit of information that, at the right time and place, may save someone else's life or change it for the better.
And, sometimes, it's changing your own life for the better.
Ellie, all of that is just a very long, extremely convoluted, way of telling you that I'm behind you all the way. Find yourself. Become the person you want to be.
We won't love you any less, and you will love yourself even more.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2003-03-31 07:07 pm (UTC)"The Pass" by Rush
Proud swagger out of the schoolyard
Waiting for the world's applause
Rebel without a conscience
Martyr without a cause
Static on your frequency
Electrical storm in your veins
Raging at unreachable glory
Straining at invisible chains
And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Can't face life on a razor's edge
Nothing's what you thought it would be
All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamers turn to look at the cars
Turn around and turn around and turn around
Turn around and walk the razor's edge
Don't turn your back
And slam the door on me
It's not as if this barricade
Blocks the only road
It's not as if you're all alone
In wanting to explode
Someone set a bad example
Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior
Who lost the will to fight
And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Done with life on a razor's edge
Nothing's what you thought it would be
No hero in your tragedy
No daring in your escape
No salutes for your surrender
Nothing noble in your fate
Christ, what have you done?
Why this particular song? Fourteen years ago, I was a member of my town's volunteer fire department and taking training for my advanced EMT certification. Over all, it was a good challenge and, looking back at it, my only real regret is that I didn't join sooner and continue on to get my Paramedic training before I was 30 and turn it into a profession. That's neither here no there, though.
During that EMT-A training, I hit a wall. Nine hours at work and then a thirty minute or so mad dash to get from work to Akron for three hours of schooling and usually getting home by about 10:30-11:00 pm three nights a week was getting too draining. Book learning was never very hard for me and even the practical, hands-on training was good. Part of the burnout actually came from another student that just never seemed to get the hang of either the book learning or the hands-on. Some of it just came from knowing this would be as high a level of EMT training as I would take. There's no point in becoming a Paramedic unless you're planning on getting paid to do it (1000 hours or more of training and clinical time) and, if you're over 30 years old, you can pretty well forget finding anyone willing to hire you as a beginner Paramedic.
One evening, on that drive home, I had just about made up my mind to leave the class and even the fire department. I just couldn't see the point of continuing.
I'd bought Rush's Presto album the weekend before but hadn't put it into tape player yet to listen to it.
When I listened to "The Pass," all thoughts of dropping out left.
It's not for the glory. It's not for acclaim. It's knowing that one little bit of information that, at the right time and place, may save someone else's life or change it for the better.
And, sometimes, it's changing your own life for the better.
Ellie, all of that is just a very long, extremely convoluted, way of telling you that I'm behind you all the way. Find yourself. Become the person you want to be.
We won't love you any less, and you will love yourself even more.
Masque