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Jul. 23rd, 2004 08:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cabbitzillaOkay... ArticCub? *purrrrr* Rael? No killing, unless it's appropriately latex-y and kinky. Tremaine? What'd I do? Once upon a time I was your daughter! :p Qilora... my head's already pretty crowded, but you're welcome to hang out. :p
Wow. Only 55% from that lineup? Two prose writers, one extremely witty composer/songwriter, and a truly spiffy graphic artist. Hrm. We must be too 'cutting edge'...
*coughs* And leaping unbidden from my memory, an Andrew Dice Clay 'fractured fairy tale': There was an old woman, who lived in a shoe; she had so many children her uterus fell out... Um... Sweetie? Let's aim just a -bit- lower on that children number, okie? Kthxby. :D
Originally, tonight was supposed to feature a visit from an old friend who's recently returned to the area. Of all my friends, he's the one that's been around the longest; we met in the fall of 1985, and were inseparable for years. He moved to Minnesota back in 1999, about a year after Megan and I married.... and a year before the lie I'd been living went down in flames. He's not seen me since before the FMS onset... before the strokes... before the GID and associated mayhem finally burst free and twisted things into something radically different from what had gone before. To say I've been dreading this particular reunion would be a bit like saying Greenland is a 'mite chilly'. He's a solid, blue collar, beer and titties kind of person, and was -not- known for excessive amounts of compassion and understanding on things that society would brand as 'faggy'... and unless he's grown/changed substantially in the last five years, that's where I'll get filed. And then things will get ugly.
I've had to deal with so much flak in the last four years that I've gotten very terse when folks start down that path. After being the target of assault at Otakon last year, 'terse' has stepped into 'twitchy'. It wasn't a noticeable thing unless someone who -knew- me was with me, as at the time it was limited to a shift in phrasings and adjustments of body posture to provide better balance if I need to defend myself. Now... with the pain meds halved, and the railgun powered moodswings... I've been told twice that 'twitchy' has become 'evil'. This is an old friend... someone I've got a lot of truly insane memories with. Concerts, camping trips, gaming meetings, on-the-fly trips to most anything within 500 miles of home, and general fun. But it's complicated.
When I unveil all of this, despite the normal assumption that 'blue collar'='dullard', he's more than smart enough to string odd moments together and realize that I nursed a serious crush on him for years. Awkward isn't going to even be in the right galaxy...
Things came up tonight, and it's starting to look like the visit'll be put off at least a day or so... but I'm still more than a little worried about this going disastrously bad. I've had several folks toss the 'you find out who your friends are' proverb-ish stuff at me... but this is close to twenty years of thinking of him as family.
And I can't get my mind to not worry...
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Date: 2004-07-24 01:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
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