So far..

... this is the best theorem offered:
Two guys blitzed to the nines on crack break into random residence at 0230 on a sunday morning and make off with various and sundry goods. Later that day, they come down from their high to discover they're each wearing nothing but leather cuffs and steel snaphooks, and that they've been happily watching porn together on their freshly stolen PS2.

I don't even want to think about the toys, okay? I'm going to go scrub my mind with a Brillo^tm pad and try to take a nap.