This just recently in from wibbble...

Which OS are You?

Somehow I'm just not surprised.

Yes, I've been quiet, of late. I've come to the disheartening conclusion that the one word that best describes Megan is Intrusive.

I spend a lot of time in my own thoughts, carefully and methodically sifting the bits there in search for a way -out- of the logic box I'm trapped within. To quote Pink Floyd: ... there must have been a door when I came in ... The trouble is that any time I 'get quiet', she seems to feel compelled to make conversation, generally to pick at something that wasn't done. Invariably my reaction is cross and snappish; not only have I been intruded on when I wished to be left alone, it's been done in a rude and quasi-confrontational manner.

Thinking coherently is difficult for me... between the mind- and mood-altering aspects of the drugs, there's also residual damage from the strokes. When I finally -get- to that level, I get pissy when someone repeatedly attempts to drag me out. Even politely asking her to leave me be and let me think does no good; she gives me the hurt puppy eyes and mutters something about 'always being pushed away'. I generally make it a point to clamp my mouth shut at that point, to prevent applying further hurt.

Yesterday she did it after three failed attempts to pick a fight with me... and suddenly she -had- the fight she was looking for earlier, and had no clue what to do with it. *sigh* Some of my regualr readers know just what a viperish tongue I have when someone sets me off; Megan got both barrels in the face yesterday. And while I feel bad about shredding her up.... I'm willing to take the onus for it if it gets me some peace. I'm honestly not sure if it'll take, though.

I just don't understand: I give her persoanl time to do what she needs to do... why do I have to claw and bitch and rant for mine? At any rate, I'm going to go get some koolaid and curl up with a book. Maybe tonight'll go better.

*hugs and cuddles*
~Ellie-chan