I'm not entirely sure that things I will say here will be helpful. In fact, I have a lingering thought that it will confirm your fears. However, I've never been anything but blunt with you, and do not plan to change that anytime soon. I owe it to the 'persona' you've presented me all these years.
I've known practically since we met that 'Don' was not really, mentally or emotionally, a boy.
For some reason it never occurred to me that Don 'the Girl' would be a different persona that Don 'The Boy.' From my point of view - Don was Don was Ellie. That making you right would ease a burden off your shoulders, but not change you from the person I've known these 6 years or so.
Probably quite short-sighted of me. The analogy I've had in my head is rather like this: Go back to a favorite childhood home after 20 years. It's the same house - but the people who've owned it since you were last there have repainted, and built on to the house. Given it new depth. It looks different, but it's really still the same.
But peeling back the onion is rather like returning to that same home and finding it's been knocked down and completely rebuilt - bearing no resemblance to the place with all the happy memories.
Doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. You just have to re-familiarize yourself with it.
Having recently been the 'victim' of someone completely changing personality on me, practically overnight, I can say this: Your change appears to be a gradual one. Those of us who love you now are seeing the change, are there to help you through it if need be. The end result is not something that will be totally foreign to us. It may be something we've had a hand in crafting (Or it may not be) - but it's a change that we've watched - not one that was thrust upon us with no warning.
You are not alone now. And I can honestly say that I have no intention of leaving you thus. But I cannot speak for what the future holds.
But I can say I love you muchly right now - and that counts for something, right?
You will get through this. You will be the person you were meant to be. That person will have friends - some reaching back into the annals of pre-history, some picked up in living memory.
I plan to be there either way - even if it means having to become your friend all over again.
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timeasmymeasure
No natural additives - only chemical preservatives.
Date: 2003-08-18 02:24 pm (UTC)I've known practically since we met that 'Don' was not really, mentally or emotionally, a boy.
For some reason it never occurred to me that Don 'the Girl' would be a different persona that Don 'The Boy.' From my point of view - Don was Don was Ellie. That making you right would ease a burden off your shoulders, but not change you from the person I've known these 6 years or so.
Probably quite short-sighted of me. The analogy I've had in my head is rather like this: Go back to a favorite childhood home after 20 years. It's the same house - but the people who've owned it since you were last there have repainted, and built on to the house. Given it new depth. It looks different, but it's really still the same.
But peeling back the onion is rather like returning to that same home and finding it's been knocked down and completely rebuilt - bearing no resemblance to the place with all the happy memories.
Doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. You just have to re-familiarize yourself with it.
Having recently been the 'victim' of someone completely changing personality on me, practically overnight, I can say this: Your change appears to be a gradual one. Those of us who love you now are seeing the change, are there to help you through it if need be. The end result is not something that will be totally foreign to us. It may be something we've had a hand in crafting (Or it may not be) - but it's a change that we've watched - not one that was thrust upon us with no warning.
You are not alone now. And I can honestly say that I have no intention of leaving you thus. But I cannot speak for what the future holds.
But I can say I love you muchly right now - and that counts for something, right?
You will get through this. You will be the person you were meant to be. That person will have friends - some reaching back into the annals of pre-history, some picked up in living memory.
I plan to be there either way - even if it means having to become your friend all over again.
-Shado