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Jan. 11th, 2003 02:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cabbitzillaI ... didn't know.
In the end, it's a pathetic non-excuse. But it's the simple truth. Those that know me would probably be surprised to find that until this morning, I'd never seen Metropolis, or even knew much more than the teaser blurbs put on the back of video packaging. But there it is.
I didn't know.
I couldn't know. As deeply involved with robots, dolls, and clockworks as I am, there was no way to understand before. I was ... unprepared for an animated film to so completely destroy me. I... have had a good cry in the wake of it, several cigarettes, and another long cry... and I think I might be at least marginally coherent again. I... am no stranger to having a movie bring me to tears. Having one demolish me and leave me sobbing for the last 20 minutes is ... a new thing entirely. But I am going to try and sum up my thoughts here, knowing full well that there are perhaps only two of my 'regular readers' that will understand the entirety...
I need to try and tackle this in stages, or I'm going to start crying again. The soundtrack is particularly well chosen, though only a student of music and fashion would catch it. The instrumentation emulates the style of music most would typify as being part of the 'flapper' period of United States history, otherwise known as the 'Roaring 20's'. On the surface, that might seem an odd choice... but this particular styling was a 'protest' form, a ribald celebration of life that flew in the face of Society mores and norms, an open rebellion against the much more reserved status quo that existed, determined to undermine the idea that only the Wealthy truly had any say in anything. It was very much a statement of 'I do not accept the way I am treated; you are no better than I' that only serves to underscore the social class disparity evident in the movie, as well as provide a counterpoint to the 'humans versus robots' subthemes.
Which are present in mass quantities, and play a sizeable role in the film. Other themes represented are the loss of 'humanity' by permiting your 'self' to be eradicated, civil and social rights questions, the dangers of political machinations, and ample evidence that intentions are -not- the sum of the outcome. There's also a very definite sense that love does not, cannot, will not conquer all.
I didn't know. And my ignorance has destroyed me.
I... really don't know what else to say, at this point. My ramblings will seem nonsensical to the vast majority of folk who read this, and that alone is enough to bring tears again. Knowing that there are so very few who -will- understand. Understanding how very alone I am, no matter how many friends protest to the contrary. I am feeling more than a bit isolated at the moment; not a good thing, as I'm expected to be 'sociable' tonight at a gathering planned months ago. It is part and parcel to what I am, which only serves to beg the question:
I am... who?
In the end, it's a pathetic non-excuse. But it's the simple truth. Those that know me would probably be surprised to find that until this morning, I'd never seen Metropolis, or even knew much more than the teaser blurbs put on the back of video packaging. But there it is.
I didn't know.
I couldn't know. As deeply involved with robots, dolls, and clockworks as I am, there was no way to understand before. I was ... unprepared for an animated film to so completely destroy me. I... have had a good cry in the wake of it, several cigarettes, and another long cry... and I think I might be at least marginally coherent again. I... am no stranger to having a movie bring me to tears. Having one demolish me and leave me sobbing for the last 20 minutes is ... a new thing entirely. But I am going to try and sum up my thoughts here, knowing full well that there are perhaps only two of my 'regular readers' that will understand the entirety...
I need to try and tackle this in stages, or I'm going to start crying again. The soundtrack is particularly well chosen, though only a student of music and fashion would catch it. The instrumentation emulates the style of music most would typify as being part of the 'flapper' period of United States history, otherwise known as the 'Roaring 20's'. On the surface, that might seem an odd choice... but this particular styling was a 'protest' form, a ribald celebration of life that flew in the face of Society mores and norms, an open rebellion against the much more reserved status quo that existed, determined to undermine the idea that only the Wealthy truly had any say in anything. It was very much a statement of 'I do not accept the way I am treated; you are no better than I' that only serves to underscore the social class disparity evident in the movie, as well as provide a counterpoint to the 'humans versus robots' subthemes.
Which are present in mass quantities, and play a sizeable role in the film. Other themes represented are the loss of 'humanity' by permiting your 'self' to be eradicated, civil and social rights questions, the dangers of political machinations, and ample evidence that intentions are -not- the sum of the outcome. There's also a very definite sense that love does not, cannot, will not conquer all.
I didn't know. And my ignorance has destroyed me.
I... really don't know what else to say, at this point. My ramblings will seem nonsensical to the vast majority of folk who read this, and that alone is enough to bring tears again. Knowing that there are so very few who -will- understand. Understanding how very alone I am, no matter how many friends protest to the contrary. I am feeling more than a bit isolated at the moment; not a good thing, as I'm expected to be 'sociable' tonight at a gathering planned months ago. It is part and parcel to what I am, which only serves to beg the question:
I am... who?
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I'm really surprised...
Date: 2003-01-11 05:07 pm (UTC)As for the question, it doesn't take being you to make people ask that of themselves. Trust me on this. *sigh* I'm STILL asking it, and I'm STILL not sure of the answer most of the time...okay, all of the time. :(
You'll figure things out eventually, hon. We all will. Til then, just remember that you are very, very loved. *HUG*
no subject
Date: 2003-01-11 06:08 pm (UTC)Metropolis, like so many anime, shows that love CAN conquer all...
However, it cannot do so without often claiming a price; one that can often be higher than we are willing to accept.
If Tima hadn't known love, and remembered it at the very last; would anything have survived?
Always look for hope in the darkest times; for it is there that it shines the brightest.
*hugs*
Masque