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Insomnia has me... as do some songs that refuse to let go. The pair from Final Fantasy VIII seem oddly appropriate tonight... perhaps that's simply my rather bleak mood talking...

Liberi Fatali
Fithos lusec wecos vinosec (x3)

Excitate vos e somno, liberi mei        Wake from your sleep, my children
Cunae sunt non                          Your childhood years are gone
Excitate vos e somno, liberi fatali     Wake from your sleep, children of Fate
Somnus est non.                         Your rest is gone

Surgite                                 Arise
Inventite                               Search
Veni hortum veritatis                   Go to the garden of Truth
Horti verna veritatis                   The garden of spring's Truth

Ardente veritate                        With fiery truth
Urite mala mundi                        Burn the evils of this world
Ardente veritate                        With fiery truth
Incendite tenebras mundi                Light the darkness of the world

Valete, liberi                          Be well, children
Diebus fatalibus                        The day has died

Fithos lusec wecos vinosec (x3)
(According to several Japanese Webpages, some of which reference gaming magazines, "fithos lusec wecos vinosec" is an anagram of "succession of witches" with the word "love" left over. "Succession of Witches" is apparently song 6 on the second CD of the FFVIII soundtrack.) - credit to The Opera House for lyric and info.

... with fiery truth burn the evils of this world ... It refuses to let go of my mind. I've lived a life of layered lies and shadows, searching endlessly for the truth that still remained... and tonight, in a fit of insomnia inspired curiousity, I find that the game I'm playing has been peppering me with editorial comments in Latin. *soft sigh* The other song is this:

Eyes On Me
Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real, or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure?
If frown is shown, then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out, then
You will know that you're not dreaming


How is it possible to have more regrets than dreams? Or is this a common condition, one rarely discussed for fear of -realizing- just how emotionally blindered we can be?

Is this all that I am? Is there nothing more? (hah! let's see who the real SciFi philosophy geek is that can get which movie that was used in...)

Sorry. It's 0455, and I'm a bit punchy it seems. *sigh* And I still can't get the sickly sweet taste of the frosting Megan used out of my mouth... I think that's actually what's keeping me up. I'm going to wrap this up and try to find something to get this taste out of my mouth. I've got to manage 'upbeat' this afternoon for my little nephew's birthday party... he's a cutie; I really wish I weren't so empty feeling...

*hugs*
~Ellie-chan
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