And now I sit, episode 25 having just finished. I'm ....
I don't know that I can easily explain this. Reality being... malleable... adjustable... is a foundational point for me. I've seen things, done things, that I know are simply impossible. I've walked out of catastrophes over and over again, accumulating scars but little else.
Four years ago, I was taught rather brutally just how easily 'memory' is erased. Skills, knowledge, mental snapshots... stripped away in the time it took to gasp and fold up in a pile. A year or two later, I was introduced to a novel form of 'big silly robot' anime that from the first episode hit both passion -and- horror chords.
Passion was winning when I put episode 14 in and hit 'play'. All that's left is horror... and frustration that what I've endured as a personal hell has been inflicted also on my dearest friends and family.
Yes, dolly, I'm 'taking things too seriously' again. Memory, function, reality...
I'm going to watch the final episode now. I'll probably be sobbing by the end of it. I've had to stop four times already to get the tears back under control since I began with episode 14. 26 is sitting there. Waiting. I know what it'll likely do to me... but I have to watch it.
I don't turn back. Not even when the choice is destructive. I choose, and then I reap the consequences, good or bad.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-12-29 05:37 am (UTC)I don't know that I can easily explain this. Reality being... malleable... adjustable... is a foundational point for me. I've seen things, done things, that I know are simply impossible. I've walked out of catastrophes over and over again, accumulating scars but little else.
Four years ago, I was taught rather brutally just how easily 'memory' is erased. Skills, knowledge, mental snapshots... stripped away in the time it took to gasp and fold up in a pile. A year or two later, I was introduced to a novel form of 'big silly robot' anime that from the first episode hit both passion -and- horror chords.
Passion was winning when I put episode 14 in and hit 'play'. All that's left is horror... and frustration that what I've endured as a personal hell has been inflicted also on my dearest friends and family.
Yes, dolly, I'm 'taking things too seriously' again. Memory, function, reality...
I'm going to watch the final episode now. I'll probably be sobbing by the end of it. I've had to stop four times already to get the tears back under control since I began with episode 14. 26 is sitting there. Waiting. I know what it'll likely do to me... but I have to watch it.
I don't turn back. Not even when the choice is destructive. I choose, and then I reap the consequences, good or bad.