At the moment that journey's simply doodles on a pad; I'm simply too sick to do much more than poke about online and turn things over in my head. It seems to take me longer nowadays to actually crystallize thought into coherency; it adds a battle to try and not feel 'stupid' to the mix.
But yes, I can understand your qualms about being Christian; in 1989, the day I stormed out of the Pastoral offices I swore I'd never grace them with -my- patronage again. Having been shanked rather viciously by someone I held in high esteem, solely for the purposes of removing me as a threat... I was less than please, less than kind, and highly vocal. The gentleman in question had only succeeded in creating the force against him that he'd acted to stop.
In an effort to stop the vitriol that was pouring from me, I turned away completely. I've no clue what's gone on there, aside from the death (mourned) of the senior Pastor who didn't find out what was going on until after I'd been 'asked to leave'. He was a good man, a kind man, and very much what I associate 'true Christian' with.
I honestly don't know where the road goes. I'm trying to find an on-ramp at the moment. *hugs* Never give up. Never surrender. Never doubt that God loves you. But I've prayed on more than one occasion for rescue from the misguided Bible 'interpreters' that seem to comprise the Protestant churches.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-11-10 01:11 am (UTC)But yes, I can understand your qualms about being Christian; in 1989, the day I stormed out of the Pastoral offices I swore I'd never grace them with -my- patronage again. Having been shanked rather viciously by someone I held in high esteem, solely for the purposes of removing me as a threat... I was less than please, less than kind, and highly vocal. The gentleman in question had only succeeded in creating the force against him that he'd acted to stop.
In an effort to stop the vitriol that was pouring from me, I turned away completely. I've no clue what's gone on there, aside from the death (mourned) of the senior Pastor who didn't find out what was going on until after I'd been 'asked to leave'. He was a good man, a kind man, and very much what I associate 'true Christian' with.
I honestly don't know where the road goes. I'm trying to find an on-ramp at the moment. *hugs* Never give up. Never surrender. Never doubt that God loves you. But I've prayed on more than one occasion for rescue from the misguided Bible 'interpreters' that seem to comprise the Protestant churches.
*hugs*