Although Maryland is slowly, cautiously (yet still too damned fast) opening, the College (HCC) has already made the decision to be nigh completely online though the fall semester. *sigh* Why the sigh, you ask? Because that plants me pretty much on my ass at home through Christmas with precious little to do. From what I understand, every time my Director tries to give me a project, her supervisor snags it and 'reallocates' it to someone else (who's already overworked). It's really terribly annoying.

Fortunately I have income to fall back on, but that's not really the point, now is it? I rather like my job, despite how often it makes me tear my hair out. All things considered, I'd rather have the work. *just shakes her head* A waste of good material, I say.

And given that my Director is wanting to retire, I'm faced with the very real possibility that my extension center may simply be shut down and the three part-time positions (of which mine is the senior) just be liquidated. It really depends on what Beverly does. I'm praying she'll stay long enough to box Mina (associate VP, 2 steps above her) into filling the other empty positions and thus making it MUCH more complicated to shut us down.

One old friend has emerged from the woodwork (Hihi, phaex) whom I'm quite glad to see. I've missed you, lad. :) Glad to hear that things are -finally-sorting out for you. Also glad for the family update; you've got the CUTEST kids! Heeheee.

'tis about all I have for the moment. Probably more in a few days.

~Ellie

I'm going to stick this up here in case I missed someone who might be interested in it ...

I found a -lovely- (if not quite complete) fan-fic series, a Harry Potter / Addams Family crossover that really tickled me to death. I found it to be quite a lot of fun, really.

The author is kyaru-chan ( https://www.fanfiction.net/u/546831/kyaru-chan ), and the series begins with the story simply titled 'Harveste', and then jumps to 'Harveste Addams and the Sorcerer's Stone' (and continues on-wards). The writer, based somewhere in the Philippines, sadly vanished two chapters into Half-Blood Prince, but it's still a wonderful read. So if that sort of thing appeals to you, go read it!

Shoo! *flings a handful of senbon after you*

This has been a fun one to watch unroll.

First there was THIS.

It was followed shortly thereafter by THIS.

Gabe put his final thoughts on the matter HERE.

And then I found THIS. Update 26 is the coup de grace.

Another bully bites the dust. I feel bad for the man's family, though.

The combination of LiveJournal's release of the bombshell that was Patch 88 and Igrick's arrogance finally drove me out. Blessedly, the nice folks at DreamWidth were quite friendly and welcoming. Setup thus far has been relatively painless. Those of you who are DW users, please pipe up so I can get you added properly over yonder. Those of you who're OpenID users, let me know that too. What the hell, let's party, eh? :)

I'm going to continue to monitor things here, have no fear. Far too many things still going on here. But all of the posts will be cross-posts from the DW account, and when the paid time here expires in May LJ isn't very likely to get any more of my hard fought for money. I simply no longer trust them. Between the arrogance of certain folk in the CoC, and the constant DDoS attacks and the fucked up patches that everyone hates but are expected accept [10,000 voices hated Patch 88 in Beta and they rolled it out -anyway-. Thanks, Igrick, you arrogant bastard.] I no longer feel comfortable funding LJ.

Eleven years. That's how long I've been with LiveJournal. A long time. I've been patient, I've been generous, I've been forgiving. And now I've been pushed too far. Sorry.

For those with an interest in such things...
Tonight National Geographic is airing a one hour special, Hitler's GI Death Camp, on the Nazi subcamp of Buchenwald known as "Berga." It's of importance to me, you see... my uncle Norm is a survivor of Berga, and will be on the special at least briefly. My DVR at the trailer is armed to grab it in case I miss it tonight, so it may be tomorrow before I get to see it. It's not something he talks about easily, as you can probably imagine, though we've spoken of it quietly over coffee late at night during several of my visits. According to my aunt, I'm the only person in the family he'll talk to about it besides her.

If the history interests you, it's on at 9 Eastern tonight.

Last night's "migraine - meds - relief - mood crash - migraine x5" combo was brutal. Salvation came in the form of my Guardian Angel, Rowan, who bolted me back together enough for me to totter off to bed and get more meds into me so I could pass out. I could do without nights like that. Thank you, Momma, for being there (again) to make the catch. *sigh* So very tired today...

Still more chaf in the asylum. It seems to be becoming a habit. Better than strangling people, I suppose.

This will surprise absolutely nobody:

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Extremely High
Dysthymia:	Very High
Bipolar Disorder:	Very High
Cyclothymia:	High-Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

Fortunately there's a raw control in place between will, meds and family (both blood and other) safety net that keeps 90% of this mess in check. It's all still there, behind the veneer, but I can at least feel human. As the Paxil dose steps up things -are- improving as well, so that's also a plus. So here's to better living through chemistry, eh?

*blows kisses and goes back to work*

Those of you that keep up with me in real time, or via SL or FB, are aware that I've been having som pretty serious issues with my medications. I'm on three meds that're considered psychotropics (I believe that's the word for them), each with a different purpose.

• Lamictal (Lamotrigine) is a stabilizer, designed to quell the sometimes violent mood swings that plague me in an unmedicated state. My mood is rock steady, which means it's doing it's job quite capably.
• Abilify (Aripiprazole) is in play as a 'social anxiety supressor', designed to lock down the panic attacks that've wreaked havoc in my life for over 30 years. There've been no signs of more than a simple OMG rush that faded immediately for over a year, which means it's doing it's job quite capably.
• Elavil (Amitriptyline) has been 'in service' the longest, an older tricyclic depression med that is a mood elevator. It -also- gets prescribed as a migraine suppressant, so it'd been doing double duty for nearly a decade. Over the last two or three months my mood has been steadily sinking and the migraines have been getting worse and more frequent until it became evident even to me that There Is A Problem Here. Stepping up the dosage had zero effect, steppind down the dosage had zero effect... it was redily apparent where the problem was.

Thursday I attempted to get an appointment sooner than my next scheduled visit (May 18th), and was told that there were no openings to accomodate me. Fine. I still felt I had solid control despite the depression that was ripping me down.

Yeah, not so much.

This morning took Crystal and I up to the same area that the doctor's office is in. So after the book sale, I stopped at the clinic to beg for an appointment sooner than the 18th, and got seen immediately by a very worried psychiatrist. I'd had a vague recollection that the doc I needed to talk to worked a mid-day shift on Saturdays and blessedly my memory didn't betray me. It turns out that nobody had bothered to ask him about seeing me. In 12 years I've never shown up needing an emergency appointment, so there was some small amount of shock in play there. I'm now being stepped down off the no-longer functioning Elavil, and stepped up on Paxil (Paroxetine). I see him again next Saturday afternoon, at which point we'll hopefully know what the Paxil will do to me. I was told "I will see you, even if I have to stay late". I no longer need to worry whether the psych cares, it seems.

I've never seen Doc R actually worried; for years it's simply been renewals or minor tweaks... this time it was a flat out failure of one of the psychotropics I take. I'd wondered for years how much of what I said was understood; English is obviously a second language for him. But he took one hard look at me and his English was suddenly crisp and clear. Kinda spooky; I'm not used to startling docs like that. And I'm definitely not used to a doc startling me like that.

*exhale* And now we wait and see what happens...

Good night, Sarah Jane.