Morning Entertainment

[cabbitzilla]

Ahhhh, I feel so loved. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this morning we're going to take a peek at what was in my mailbag this morning. It was sent to the @livejournal.com address associated with my Journal, and forwarded to my normal email. Not a comment, mind you, but a direct contact. Name and email address have been sanitized, but here's the body of the email with capitalization and punctuation intact:

Woe to the wicked, for they shall BURN FOREVER in the BURNING FLAMES of FIREY HELL. The punishment for claiming faith when your a hertic homo lover will be ETERNAL SUFFRING! REPENT, give up your sicko ways and love Jesus and he MIGHT have mercey on you. There is no place in America for you faggot sickos to pervret marriage and the laws. Now that a REAL Christian is back in the President, theres going to be laws made against you and your kind. Repent or face the rath of GOD and the rage of GOOD CHRISTAIN MEN! Yours in Christ [name removed]

They've been reported to the abuse center of their ISP. But I really did think some of you would find it entertaining.

Comments

[wibbble]

But did he call you a poop head?! ;o>

Isn't there something in the Bible about judgement being that thing that only God gets to do? Judge not, lest ye be popped in ye ass by a lightning bolt, or something?

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

No, still no poop head. You win.

(cute) Bastard. :)

[endrion.livejournal.com]

Sweet holy hell. @.o Entertaining indeed. Nice to know ya ain't letting this get to you. I wonder if there are people who spend thier time just trawling the net and LJ for posts with key words and just blasting them.

As a side thought, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone", hm? That thing's a crime against the english language as is.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Get to me?
GET to me?
*snicker*
Aside from choking briefly on my cocoa, I'm remarkably unharmed...

... but I figure anyone who can't figure out how to spell 'pervert' (or Pervect, as the case may be) will never find 'Maryland' on the map. They'll be busy looking for 'Merrlann'....

[sapphire-d.livejournal.com]

... Now that a REAL Christian is back in the president ...

IN the president? Umm... doesn't that make him... umm... *shudder*

[wibbble]

Maybe Dubya is being puppeted, like John Malkovich was in 'Being John Malkovich'?

[sapphire-d.livejournal.com]

Yes... How would we know that the tour groups were Christians, though? Would there need to be waivers signed?

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Hey, if someone's sinking pipe into the President, we need to get the Press in on this. I mean, look at all the trouble Clinton got in for getting a blowjob!

I see a TV miniseries!

[sapphire-d.livejournal.com]

*grins* 'mini' is probably right. Though I know that I shouldn't speculate. :)

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

I've got a tape measure here that's in milimeters... do you think that's accurate enough to get a good read?

[sapphire-d.livejournal.com]

*grins* Prolly. Well... maybe... :)

[lostkun.livejournal.com]

If only these people would learn a thing or two about freakin' grammar and spelling. x_x; They might not come off as ridiculously stupid then, instead of scary.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

It's been my experience that they're pack animals anyway. Individually, they tend to run for safety while begging God to protect them from the 'soulless heathen'. Pairs and trios are more comfortable with ranged weapons and shouted epithets. Quartets will sometimes initiate something physical... and each time it's happened I've walked away with a new jacket or watch.

No quarter asked or given. No mercy offered to the merciless.

And it's interesting how many of these 'God fearing' types have FAKE Rolex's... they're only worth $30 or so at a pawn shop.

*winks and hugs*

Hrm

[jarnol.livejournal.com]

The wrath of good christian men...well, for a start its probably protestant wannabe catholics....see, they are just upset their church is too young to have missed out on the inquisition so they want to have one. So goes my theory. That or they all have incredibly small male organs. Some kind of issues with their adaquacy.

Re: Hrm

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

*innocent smile*
If you kick those incredibly small organs, they DO get bigger. For a little while.

Wow, I seem to be in a truly wicked mindset tonight. :p

[llieno.livejournal.com]

What about the GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMEN?

XP

*grin*

[lys1022.livejournal.com]

But there AREN'T any good Christian women, didn't you know? Women are responsible for Original Sin, and so all of them are tainted.

Heh...

;)

Re: *grin*

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

And the few that somehow manage to attain 'good' status even after the Original Sin hit are all sitting in the emergency rooms waiting for treatment for that last 'discussion' they had with their 'loving and firm' husbands.

*Le Sigh*

[meamgrimlock.livejournal.com]

How's about you report 'im to the Abuse department of your local friends club?

I've still got a sword that needs to be baptized, if you catch my drift.

It is people like this who give Christianity a bad name.

Re: *Le Sigh*

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I appreciate the sentiment, baby, but I'd really rather not have to help post bail for you. Though if he's in Texas, I think the 'He needed killin' defense is still valid...

*grr*

[smokierings.livejournal.com]

Love the sign off, too. People just don't pay attention to the words they use, do they. Asshole.
*hugs*

Re: *grr*

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

At least that part was spelled and capitalized properly.

[gendou.livejournal.com]

I'm 99% certain that it's a hoax. It just doesn't have the feel of genuine fanaticism.
Instead, it looks like what someone satirizing fanaticism might invent.

I'm sorry someone subjected you to something like this, but I seriously doubt the person was a Christian.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Hoax or not, love, it made my morning. I long ago came to the realization that having folks start reacting like that means I'm on the right path. :p

[kurara.livejournal.com]

:P "mercey"

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

I think that's how they spell that in Jesusland. Well, to be fair, almost half of the populace of Jesusland are truly good souls (and capable spellers, presumably)... but the ones that spell it that way seem to be much louder than the rest. Pity, really, but there're still some nice spots that haven't given in to the brain rot.

[kurara.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: something similar to that happened to me a few months ago.. So I know how you feel. x.x But it's better to laugh at it, isn't it?

[elix.livejournal.com]

It's missing [Insert maniacal devoted laughter here].

"you're", "heretic", "suffering", "mercy", "pervert", "presidency", "there's", "wrath", "christian". Additional points subtracted for repetitive use of "burning", also "sicko" (x2), "faggot", and abuse of caps.

Grade: D. See me after class.

Colonel-Sanders-with-an-axe-in-his-head says, "SANDERS SMASH!! SAFE AND HEALTHY!!"

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Heh. We need to set you up and 'Speller for the Stars!' and get you some contracts. :)

[freakishspleen.livejournal.com]

Burn in the burning firey brimstone hell of burning brimstone and firey burning! Also: eternal suffering.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Can I have a seat in the smoking section, please?

[foxeryn.livejournal.com]

I tell you, some people need to get a grip.

"Safety is the Last Refuge of the Scoundrel!"
Yeah. "Preachiness is the Last Refuge of the Control Freak."

I saw a similar thing recently about how "now that Conservatives have proven themselves to be the True American People" somewhere. I forget where. It's interesting how such people rely so heavily in their rantings about how they've democratically elected the Tool of God, and yet don't seem to realize that democracy only thrives when there are multiple viewpoints.

[wibbble]

You have to see their point, though. Dubya is certainly a tool.

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Quick! Let's build a shed over that tool to protect... well... US!

[elisabeth.livejournal.com]

Tunnel vision seems to be a fairly common issue amongst reactive types.

*snugglehugs*

[lilangel.livejournal.com]

On behalf of those Christians out there who don't try to discourage people in search of the Truth by telling them they're going straight to hell for actually --searching--, I apologize. It's because of that sort of reaction that Christians today in America (particularly those from the middle of the US) are looked down upon so much (says the little MidWestern Christian at a Baptist university).

Believe me love, my group here is simply happy that you're looking again--and we keep praying for you! :-) After all, someone's who's /truly/ searching is often a lot closer to God than those who set themselves up as righteous and chosen of God. At least from what I've seen.

Anyways, much love to my friend!
Holly

*scampers back into hiding as she does so well*

Re: *snugglehugs*

[kyrlan.livejournal.com]

Amen and full agreement, and a side note about our "real Christian" president, I don't care how much he believes in God. Thats his own life and salvation at issue. I wonder how much faith God has in our president.

[invader-tak-1.livejournal.com]

You get all the good mail! I can't even get a decent threat!


I have not been damned to hell in ages, I'm jealous.

Oh well, always a bridesmaid, ect.......