cabbitzilla (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cabbitzilla) wrote2003-07-16 03:29 am
cabbitzilla) wrote2003-07-16 03:29 am
(no subject)
And there are nights when the fears and anxieties that plague my soul take substance around me. No matter how hard I try to insulate myself or protect myself, they eat swiftly through the few threads of hope I still have left. I... learned a long time ago that the instinct to isolate myself was in fact the worst possible choice, and hardwired in a set of actions that would make me reach out to the family I've adopted across the face of the net. It was never an elegant fix, nor was it ever intended to be foolproof, but it had never left me sitting alone.
But it was also never in my wildest expectations supposed to be a round-the-clock catchnet, either. The two or three folk that I would normally seek out, just to hear (see?) a friendly voice, don't seem to be anywhere I can find them. Trillian's acting flaky as hell, as is the DSL, so I can't -reach- anyone via chat client. (Correction, it'll deal okay with inbound messages, but if I -initiate- communications it crashes.) The MU*'s are either empty, or people are using timers to keep themselves connected.
And just when I think everything's going to implode and finish me off, someone steps in to make the save. I... I don't know what I did to deserve either of you, but thank you. I love you.
But... some things did go right today.
I didn't punch the Baptist minister in the mouth for calling me an abomination. But I also had the satisfaction of watching the public library have him removed from the premises. My dress is almost done, but I keep nattering on about that one. Megan didn't pick a fight today. Not even a quibble. MVA owes me $480 back. AnthroCon is only days away.
*sigh* I'm fading in and out, but at least I've stopped crying. Thank you, beloved....
But it was also never in my wildest expectations supposed to be a round-the-clock catchnet, either. The two or three folk that I would normally seek out, just to hear (see?) a friendly voice, don't seem to be anywhere I can find them. Trillian's acting flaky as hell, as is the DSL, so I can't -reach- anyone via chat client. (Correction, it'll deal okay with inbound messages, but if I -initiate- communications it crashes.) The MU*'s are either empty, or people are using timers to keep themselves connected.
And just when I think everything's going to implode and finish me off, someone steps in to make the save. I... I don't know what I did to deserve either of you, but thank you. I love you.
But... some things did go right today.
*sigh* I'm fading in and out, but at least I've stopped crying. Thank you, beloved....
no subject
*hugs*
Because I don't say it nearly enough...
*pokes lightly*
*smooch*
You can have breakdowns on the nights I'm home, from 6 p.m. Central til 11 p.m. Central. That's it...no other time. Make sure you schedule that in, now, you hear?
*chuckles and hugs*
Love you, sweets.
~Frances, the Walking Dayplanner~
no subject