cabbitzilla (
cabbitzilla) wrote2003-06-26 02:58 am
Tales, Morals, and Chainsmoking Cabbitroids...
All too often I think we get so caught up in the disaster of the moment that we forget to look at the larger picture around us. I've has a series of chats with a half dozen different individuals today, each of them as blue and forlorn as I myself have felt for days. As I talked with each of them, I realized I was hammering the same basic rhythm, adapted to however I thought they'd 'hear' it most easily: It gets better. Some people have nothing better to do than be mean, and it does -not- make you any less a person. Don't give up. Remember that someone cares.
As the night winds down, and my thoughts turn inward, the blackness tries again to swallow me... and that tiny (and normally quite sarcastic) voice in the back of my head repeats my own words to me. And it's true. And I need to take my own advice and -trust-.... even though trust is a difficult thing for me. As life stands, there are exactly -three- people that I trust completely, and four more that are just -barely- outside of that (generally hovering there due ti time, travel, and pain constraints rather than anything perceived 'wrong' with them; I simply haven't had the wits to process them into the inner cloister.) It gets better. Mean people suck, and generally not the nice way. I refuse to give up. And... I have an awful lot of truly wonderful people that care about me. And yes, R, that includes you no matter -what- your opinion of yourself is. Yes, Frances, you too, silly. And Clara and Ryn and Owyn and Marcia and... it's such a long list, filled with wonderful people who're everything from service department managers at car dealers to magazine editors (bet you thought I'd forgotten you, Ysa. :p).
So we move on.
THREE COWBOYS
*chuckle* The other big thing seems to be that I take myself -entirely- too seriously sometimes. It's a problem that seems to impact several of my dearest friends as well. It's good to laugh. I thought this was amusing, and ... well, sorry if you don't like it, but it's here. :p
Anyway, I'm going to try and sleep now. G'nite, darlings.
~Ellie-chan
PostScript: Ysabet, darling, if you're still reading... somewhere in the house there are my glasses... and I really REALLY need them. Could you send them to me, please?
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I know I've been kind of silent in here, Ellie, but you're always in my thoughts. I'm glad you're feeling a bit more up; just don't attempt to emulate the third cowboy, alright?
Masque
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Heavens to Cabbitroid
I have to remember to laugh as well, and not to take myself too seriously lest I become Ultimate Angst Queen. *grin*
Love,
~~Kt3 the Getting Painkillers, Finally~~