cabbitzilla (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cabbitzilla) wrote2002-10-30 11:04 pm
cabbitzilla) wrote2002-10-30 11:04 pm
Dreaming...
Yeah, I got a little sleep, too...
I'd just finished 'mending' from the last of the surgeries... The dream picked up with that, and with me shooing Megan and her new boyfriend off to the bedroom to get to know each other. I was busy packing, you see... I was going on a road trip; it was time to visit friends and family, and enjoy the fact that I was finally -right-. I spent -hours- packing the Mercury just the way I wanted it. Dresses for 'normal' wear, including the lovely white one that I've lusted after from the Pare Ideal website for years. A pair of much shorter dresses with petticoats. Some jumper dresses for relaxing. One nightgown that even a grandmother would approve of, and a pair of more intimate nighties... such were my hopes for the trip, and what lay at the end of it. The computer... the whole thing. Monitor, subwoofers/speakers, mouse, keyboard, modem, spare NIC. Books for reading and sharing... and me. No cigs; I'd finally, permanently quit.
I had my itinerary laid out: Rochester, NY... Ohio... Danville, IL... Chicago, IL... Peoria, Iowa... Salt Lake City, UT... Seattle, WA... and four or five stops in sunny California. I'd had to beg, but Owyn was one of the Cali stops. He was afraid that meeting in person would damage our friendship... that he wasn't prepared for any sort of committment... that he wasn't worthy of my attentions... I refused to accept any of them, repeating that I wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Dolly's can be very determined, you see. I... had been kinda evil, you see: I'd refused to post pictures of the 'new' me... insisting that people either -meet- me or don't bother. :p
I had a total blast on the road. Friends and family I'd not seen in a decade (or more, in some cases). Lots of hugs, lots of laughter. Had a bit of a near-altercation in Utah... some of the more militant Mormons decided to take offence to me... their attitude changed when they found out I was technically 'intersexed' rather than a straight transsexual, but it was mildly annoying. And Marcia was a blast... we went out clubbing a couple of nights to specialty clubs and had lots of fun. Seattle was similar... Nick was positively flabbergasted at seeing me... It was fun to shock Nick. His wife Dawn just took it all in stride... and made a pass at me the second night. She seemed surprised that I turned her down; apparently I was positively radiating 'horny' vibes, but... she just wasn't what I wanted. My 'wants' have shifted about 90% to boys, you see, even now...
I was scared half to death as I drove south... I... am very very clear on my feelings for Owyn, you see. I know what lies in my heart. What frightened me was the possibility that hw'd not like what hw saw when we met. The surgeries and hormones had wrought some very interesting changes, you see. I grew another 2 inches, making me an even 6'5". Breast development, all -natural-, had gone totally ape and left with with a 52-H chest. The 'shadow' in my abdomen -was- a uterus and ovaries... and they worked. A bit -too- well... my fertility rating was off the charts. I was on the pill, and fully planned on requesting condom use should I ever decide to 'play'. But my weight was down, mostly... stable at 265 pounds... though I couldn't seem to get rid of the plumper ass I'd developed under the hormones.
I had directions that turned out to be pretty good, but my Nokia died as I tried to dial his number and let him know I was close. Afraid I'd get lost if I turned off after a phone, I opted to simply show up. I was coming in cold; I had -no- idea what (if anything at all) he'd told his parents about me, whether they'd be home, whether -he'd- be home. I was scared out of my mind. I parked a block away, and sat and tried to pull myself together. Touched up my makeup, checked my nails, prayed... and then completed the trip. I sat in the car, took a deep breath, then got out, grabbed my purse, and padded up to the door. As I went to knock, it opened. She was... roughly 5'7"/5'8", a bit large but seemed due to build rather than fat, and had sparklingly bright eyes...
It -was- 'mom', as it happened. She was at least peripherally aware that I was coming, though I was apparently several hours earlier than I'd expected. Polite, kind, but... she seemed to radiate 'busy', if that makes any sense.
I was let in, and off the nice but busy lady went to get the lad in question. Said he was upstairs, had said somethin about it being a long day, and that he might be asleep. I tried real hard not to fidget while I waited. I was... antsy... afraid. I couldn't figure out if I was more afraid that he'd not like me... or that he -would- like me... I'm kinda weird that way. All I'd ever really seen were a couple of pictures... it was his spirit I was madly in love with, and the shell is a secondary thing, you know? 'Mom'lady came back down, warned me that it was likely to be a few moments, and asked if I'd like a cup of tea while I waited. She kept looking me over... I felt like a specimen on display.
I accepted the tea (yum, Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Lift, my fave!), and she began with the 'how do you know Owyn' questions. I explained that we'd been very close friends for several years online... that he occupied a very dear place in my heart, and that now that the money problems had finally ironed out and the house was paid for, I could -finally- visit and meet the person I thought so highly of. She blinked at me, and asked me if I'd driven all the way out from the east coast just to meet her son, and I sorta blushed and explained that I'd visited other friends on the way out... My attempt at dodging the question didn't seem to work; she smiled and nodded and convo moved on.
She asked a lot of questions... what did I do for a living, how old I was, what my goals in life were. My answer of 'full time Mom to however many children my someday husband blessed us with' to that one got another raised eyebrow and a -very- amused smile. It was like being cross examined in federal court.
I finally heard footsteps behind me. I turned around... and nearly dropped my tea. Tired, worn, and rumpled... he was nothing short of absolutely gorgeous. I stammered for a few moments without getting -anything- coherent out, and could feel the panic building. But... as flustered as I was, I very obviously had his attention. He was trying to be discrete about it, really he was... but there was an appreciation in his eyes that could've been spotted clear out in Texas. Finally he said 'Ellie? Is that really you?'... a lovely soft upper baritone that made me want to melt in my mary janes. I nodded, trying not to turn totally red, and managed a smile. 'Aye, it's me. I ... hope I'm not disappointing?'
His response was 'Only that it took so long to finally meet...'. Such a sweetie. He could probably -hear- my heart ponding in my chest. Conversation finally got started; very rough at first, since both of us seemed a bit shy. Eventually it got rolling on gaming and such, and I at least started to relax. We chatted for some time there, while his Mom worked on something at the table and (as it happened) listened to us talk and laugh. Something about ... Silver Age Sentinels, I think, came up, and he did the 'BRB, let me get it' and vanished back up stairs... and from behind me I hear 'How long have you been in love with him?'...
I swallowed hard, hesitated, then opted to answer honestly. 'A couple years, Ma'am. Maybe more. There were... things that I had to get fixed, things that were critical to who and what I am. I... don't know if he returns the feelings. I pray a lot about it...'
I managed to say it all without squeaking, then turned to look at her. She was smiling at me. 'He cares for you, that much is obvious. But I honestly don't know, dear. Perhaps you should tell -him-, though?'... which was followed immediately by 'Tell me what?'... I hadn't heard him come back...
... and that almost gave me a coronary. He looked me right in the eye and said 'Tell me what, dolly?'... I could -HEAR- your Mom's eyebrow go up at the petname. I took a dep breath, then looked him in the eye and whispered 'I love you, Owyn. For some time now. Meeting you only made it more real...'
His answer was: 'I... like you a lot, Ellie. I don't... really know how deep it goes. We'd need ... well... time together.' I very nearly melted in place; I was -so- willing to give him any time you wanted... anything he wanted, all he had to do was ask. I... think he must have seen that in my eyes, because he blushed brightly. And from behind came 'You kids are cute... why not find a movie to watch. Dinner will be ready soon. You -are- staying for supper, Elisabeth? Ellie? And which do you prefer?'
With that, we got shooed out of the kitchen to go watch movies. He picked something out after finding that I really didn't care -what- we watched as long as I could snuggle close. He blushed faintly and told me he wouldn't stop me... which I took as an invitation. He is -so- nice and warm and snuggly, and his arm around me was wonderful, and he was playing idly with my hair and that was divine...
I... don't even know what the movie was. He was playing with my hair, and I was listening to his heartbeat. The movie ended, and neither of us seemed inclined to get up... the blue screen was fine, it seems. And in the silence he asked 'You ...really love me, Ellie?'. I nodded slowly, then whispered 'All my heart, my darling bear.' There was a long pause, and then 'I can be difficult to deal with, dolly.'.. to which I nodded. 'I know... it only makes me need you more,' I admitted. Lying to him is...very difficult for me even under the very best of circumstances, you see. And I was distracted by his fingers weaving through my hair, and your presence so close....
Being that close to him was making me so randy I couldn't think. What kept going through my mind was 'He wants children... and I can give him as many as he desires... happily!' *blushes more* And then he murmured 'I might love you, Ellie... I just don't know'... and I thought I'd pass out from happiness at the chance.
Time passed... dinner was kinda odd. His dad kept giving me a 'what in the world is she after' look... when he wasn't simply staring at me. Very odd. But he were sitting next to me, and the 'safe' feeling from that was just... wonderful. Dinner eventually got 'over'... I offered to help with the dishes, which seemed to please his Mom... and when I looked around he and his dad had -poofed-. His Mom gave me a smile then commented 'I suspect he's just worried, Ellie. I wouldn't worry too much about it.' But I -was- worried... all he knew was that some titanic tittied older woman was here after his son...
More time passed. Like on fast forward: his dad admitted that liked me, he was just worried... his talk with Owny was apparently a 'be careful' thing. I got a room at a local hotel... I couldn't bear to leave, and he'd actually asked me if I could stay around a bit longer... with that request in my ears, leaving wasn't an option. And... the longer I stayed... the more concrete things seemed to be. But a week later... we were curled up watching another movie... again I couldn't tell you what it was. But I was wearing a minidress, and his hand left a burning trail as he stroked my legs and arms. And when I whispered 'I love you, my Sir'... I got a faint 'I love my dolly' back...
The next words I heard nearly made me wet myself. 'In your mind's eye... are we a couple? Now, and in the future?' he asked. I hesitated, then nodded slowly. 'In my mind's eye... I'm your future wife. And mother to your children. And passionate, willing dolly...' And I could -feel- the heat of Owyn's reaction. The world vanished into the most intense kissss I've ever known... or even dreamed. And he laughed softly when I breathed 'You don't have to stop'...
I looked up into his eyes, and whispered 'I love you, Owyn', without any hesitation or flicker. He looked me in the eyes and whispered back 'Will you marry me, dolly darling?'. I babbled a yes in about six languages, then buried my face in his shoulder and burst into tears. Owyn wrapped me up in the warmest hug in the cosmos, and whispered beautiful things into my ears... and I kissed him, and it went on and on forever. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he started nibbling on my earlobe... and ...didn't stop or derail the building need....and it just cycled higher and higher. I begged him to claim me... make me HIS and end the wonderings and hungerings... and Owyn licked the tip of my nose and told me not to be impatient. He drove me nearly insane... and then Owyn -did- claim me. Slow, almost Regal... more time went on... it... it was the day of the wedding. We exchanged our vows... and afterwards I whispered to him that I was pregnant... and his face lit up with joy like a sun...
... and then I woke up, aroused and tingling... I... want very badly for it to be real. Owyn, darling... I love you...
*hugs and kisses*
~Ellie-chan
I'd just finished 'mending' from the last of the surgeries... The dream picked up with that, and with me shooing Megan and her new boyfriend off to the bedroom to get to know each other. I was busy packing, you see... I was going on a road trip; it was time to visit friends and family, and enjoy the fact that I was finally -right-. I spent -hours- packing the Mercury just the way I wanted it. Dresses for 'normal' wear, including the lovely white one that I've lusted after from the Pare Ideal website for years. A pair of much shorter dresses with petticoats. Some jumper dresses for relaxing. One nightgown that even a grandmother would approve of, and a pair of more intimate nighties... such were my hopes for the trip, and what lay at the end of it. The computer... the whole thing. Monitor, subwoofers/speakers, mouse, keyboard, modem, spare NIC. Books for reading and sharing... and me. No cigs; I'd finally, permanently quit.
I had my itinerary laid out: Rochester, NY... Ohio... Danville, IL... Chicago, IL... Peoria, Iowa... Salt Lake City, UT... Seattle, WA... and four or five stops in sunny California. I'd had to beg, but Owyn was one of the Cali stops. He was afraid that meeting in person would damage our friendship... that he wasn't prepared for any sort of committment... that he wasn't worthy of my attentions... I refused to accept any of them, repeating that I wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Dolly's can be very determined, you see. I... had been kinda evil, you see: I'd refused to post pictures of the 'new' me... insisting that people either -meet- me or don't bother. :p
I had a total blast on the road. Friends and family I'd not seen in a decade (or more, in some cases). Lots of hugs, lots of laughter. Had a bit of a near-altercation in Utah... some of the more militant Mormons decided to take offence to me... their attitude changed when they found out I was technically 'intersexed' rather than a straight transsexual, but it was mildly annoying. And Marcia was a blast... we went out clubbing a couple of nights to specialty clubs and had lots of fun. Seattle was similar... Nick was positively flabbergasted at seeing me... It was fun to shock Nick. His wife Dawn just took it all in stride... and made a pass at me the second night. She seemed surprised that I turned her down; apparently I was positively radiating 'horny' vibes, but... she just wasn't what I wanted. My 'wants' have shifted about 90% to boys, you see, even now...
I was scared half to death as I drove south... I... am very very clear on my feelings for Owyn, you see. I know what lies in my heart. What frightened me was the possibility that hw'd not like what hw saw when we met. The surgeries and hormones had wrought some very interesting changes, you see. I grew another 2 inches, making me an even 6'5". Breast development, all -natural-, had gone totally ape and left with with a 52-H chest. The 'shadow' in my abdomen -was- a uterus and ovaries... and they worked. A bit -too- well... my fertility rating was off the charts. I was on the pill, and fully planned on requesting condom use should I ever decide to 'play'. But my weight was down, mostly... stable at 265 pounds... though I couldn't seem to get rid of the plumper ass I'd developed under the hormones.
I had directions that turned out to be pretty good, but my Nokia died as I tried to dial his number and let him know I was close. Afraid I'd get lost if I turned off after a phone, I opted to simply show up. I was coming in cold; I had -no- idea what (if anything at all) he'd told his parents about me, whether they'd be home, whether -he'd- be home. I was scared out of my mind. I parked a block away, and sat and tried to pull myself together. Touched up my makeup, checked my nails, prayed... and then completed the trip. I sat in the car, took a deep breath, then got out, grabbed my purse, and padded up to the door. As I went to knock, it opened. She was... roughly 5'7"/5'8", a bit large but seemed due to build rather than fat, and had sparklingly bright eyes...
It -was- 'mom', as it happened. She was at least peripherally aware that I was coming, though I was apparently several hours earlier than I'd expected. Polite, kind, but... she seemed to radiate 'busy', if that makes any sense.
I was let in, and off the nice but busy lady went to get the lad in question. Said he was upstairs, had said somethin about it being a long day, and that he might be asleep. I tried real hard not to fidget while I waited. I was... antsy... afraid. I couldn't figure out if I was more afraid that he'd not like me... or that he -would- like me... I'm kinda weird that way. All I'd ever really seen were a couple of pictures... it was his spirit I was madly in love with, and the shell is a secondary thing, you know? 'Mom'lady came back down, warned me that it was likely to be a few moments, and asked if I'd like a cup of tea while I waited. She kept looking me over... I felt like a specimen on display.
I accepted the tea (yum, Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Lift, my fave!), and she began with the 'how do you know Owyn' questions. I explained that we'd been very close friends for several years online... that he occupied a very dear place in my heart, and that now that the money problems had finally ironed out and the house was paid for, I could -finally- visit and meet the person I thought so highly of. She blinked at me, and asked me if I'd driven all the way out from the east coast just to meet her son, and I sorta blushed and explained that I'd visited other friends on the way out... My attempt at dodging the question didn't seem to work; she smiled and nodded and convo moved on.
She asked a lot of questions... what did I do for a living, how old I was, what my goals in life were. My answer of 'full time Mom to however many children my someday husband blessed us with' to that one got another raised eyebrow and a -very- amused smile. It was like being cross examined in federal court.
I finally heard footsteps behind me. I turned around... and nearly dropped my tea. Tired, worn, and rumpled... he was nothing short of absolutely gorgeous. I stammered for a few moments without getting -anything- coherent out, and could feel the panic building. But... as flustered as I was, I very obviously had his attention. He was trying to be discrete about it, really he was... but there was an appreciation in his eyes that could've been spotted clear out in Texas. Finally he said 'Ellie? Is that really you?'... a lovely soft upper baritone that made me want to melt in my mary janes. I nodded, trying not to turn totally red, and managed a smile. 'Aye, it's me. I ... hope I'm not disappointing?'
His response was 'Only that it took so long to finally meet...'. Such a sweetie. He could probably -hear- my heart ponding in my chest. Conversation finally got started; very rough at first, since both of us seemed a bit shy. Eventually it got rolling on gaming and such, and I at least started to relax. We chatted for some time there, while his Mom worked on something at the table and (as it happened) listened to us talk and laugh. Something about ... Silver Age Sentinels, I think, came up, and he did the 'BRB, let me get it' and vanished back up stairs... and from behind me I hear 'How long have you been in love with him?'...
I swallowed hard, hesitated, then opted to answer honestly. 'A couple years, Ma'am. Maybe more. There were... things that I had to get fixed, things that were critical to who and what I am. I... don't know if he returns the feelings. I pray a lot about it...'
I managed to say it all without squeaking, then turned to look at her. She was smiling at me. 'He cares for you, that much is obvious. But I honestly don't know, dear. Perhaps you should tell -him-, though?'... which was followed immediately by 'Tell me what?'... I hadn't heard him come back...
... and that almost gave me a coronary. He looked me right in the eye and said 'Tell me what, dolly?'... I could -HEAR- your Mom's eyebrow go up at the petname. I took a dep breath, then looked him in the eye and whispered 'I love you, Owyn. For some time now. Meeting you only made it more real...'
His answer was: 'I... like you a lot, Ellie. I don't... really know how deep it goes. We'd need ... well... time together.' I very nearly melted in place; I was -so- willing to give him any time you wanted... anything he wanted, all he had to do was ask. I... think he must have seen that in my eyes, because he blushed brightly. And from behind came 'You kids are cute... why not find a movie to watch. Dinner will be ready soon. You -are- staying for supper, Elisabeth? Ellie? And which do you prefer?'
With that, we got shooed out of the kitchen to go watch movies. He picked something out after finding that I really didn't care -what- we watched as long as I could snuggle close. He blushed faintly and told me he wouldn't stop me... which I took as an invitation. He is -so- nice and warm and snuggly, and his arm around me was wonderful, and he was playing idly with my hair and that was divine...
I... don't even know what the movie was. He was playing with my hair, and I was listening to his heartbeat. The movie ended, and neither of us seemed inclined to get up... the blue screen was fine, it seems. And in the silence he asked 'You ...really love me, Ellie?'. I nodded slowly, then whispered 'All my heart, my darling bear.' There was a long pause, and then 'I can be difficult to deal with, dolly.'.. to which I nodded. 'I know... it only makes me need you more,' I admitted. Lying to him is...very difficult for me even under the very best of circumstances, you see. And I was distracted by his fingers weaving through my hair, and your presence so close....
Being that close to him was making me so randy I couldn't think. What kept going through my mind was 'He wants children... and I can give him as many as he desires... happily!' *blushes more* And then he murmured 'I might love you, Ellie... I just don't know'... and I thought I'd pass out from happiness at the chance.
Time passed... dinner was kinda odd. His dad kept giving me a 'what in the world is she after' look... when he wasn't simply staring at me. Very odd. But he were sitting next to me, and the 'safe' feeling from that was just... wonderful. Dinner eventually got 'over'... I offered to help with the dishes, which seemed to please his Mom... and when I looked around he and his dad had -poofed-. His Mom gave me a smile then commented 'I suspect he's just worried, Ellie. I wouldn't worry too much about it.' But I -was- worried... all he knew was that some titanic tittied older woman was here after his son...
More time passed. Like on fast forward: his dad admitted that liked me, he was just worried... his talk with Owny was apparently a 'be careful' thing. I got a room at a local hotel... I couldn't bear to leave, and he'd actually asked me if I could stay around a bit longer... with that request in my ears, leaving wasn't an option. And... the longer I stayed... the more concrete things seemed to be. But a week later... we were curled up watching another movie... again I couldn't tell you what it was. But I was wearing a minidress, and his hand left a burning trail as he stroked my legs and arms. And when I whispered 'I love you, my Sir'... I got a faint 'I love my dolly' back...
The next words I heard nearly made me wet myself. 'In your mind's eye... are we a couple? Now, and in the future?' he asked. I hesitated, then nodded slowly. 'In my mind's eye... I'm your future wife. And mother to your children. And passionate, willing dolly...' And I could -feel- the heat of Owyn's reaction. The world vanished into the most intense kissss I've ever known... or even dreamed. And he laughed softly when I breathed 'You don't have to stop'...
I looked up into his eyes, and whispered 'I love you, Owyn', without any hesitation or flicker. He looked me in the eyes and whispered back 'Will you marry me, dolly darling?'. I babbled a yes in about six languages, then buried my face in his shoulder and burst into tears. Owyn wrapped me up in the warmest hug in the cosmos, and whispered beautiful things into my ears... and I kissed him, and it went on and on forever. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he started nibbling on my earlobe... and ...didn't stop or derail the building need....and it just cycled higher and higher. I begged him to claim me... make me HIS and end the wonderings and hungerings... and Owyn licked the tip of my nose and told me not to be impatient. He drove me nearly insane... and then Owyn -did- claim me. Slow, almost Regal... more time went on... it... it was the day of the wedding. We exchanged our vows... and afterwards I whispered to him that I was pregnant... and his face lit up with joy like a sun...
... and then I woke up, aroused and tingling... I... want very badly for it to be real. Owyn, darling... I love you...
*hugs and kisses*
~Ellie-chan