(no subject)

This turned up in my email about ten minutes ago. If any of you are on the 'Dogbyte & CatScratch' humor list, then I apologize for the repetition.

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.

Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.

Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.

Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.

"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.

"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.

"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough!"

On really bad days, I can sympathize with the poor schmuck leaning on the lamp post. Today's not been that bad, but I'd swear it didn't miss by much. In other news, I'm nearing the end of Disc 2 of Final Fantasy VII, and am ready to declare myself 'well traveled. I've walked, driven a buggy, briefly flown a plane that was shot down and subsequently used as a shallow water boat, piloted an airship, been launched into space in a rocket, and now I'm at the helm of my very own submarine. *shudder* Tin can... TINY tin can... under ....WATER!. *shiver* That's my idea of hell, ladies and gentlemen.

Ah well. Saving the Planet calls for desperate measures, after all. [Yes, Rufus, I /will/ nail your sorry carcass to the wall if I ever catch you without your goons... since Sephiroth is already technically 'dead', there's not a lot I can do to -him-.]

*hugs and cuddles from the insomniac cabbit*
~Ellie-chan

(no subject)

... sometimes the 'why' has more impact than a death. Wow. I... wasn't expecting that. Kudos to the designers... they moved me to tears again. Not bad tears though, if a bit sad. But I remain impressed with the care put into each installment of the Final Fantasy series. While VIII had its' brutal moments, and pieces that tore at my heart, the storyline failed to capture me. IX left me thunderstruck, VIII just left me going '... and?'

A treasured swore vehemently that VII should be kept from me, acting on the desire to spare me the pain. She worries that I pour too much of myself into the fictional stories that I see, read, and play... and that my spirit suffers regularly because of that trait. And to be completely honest, she's right; I see meaning where others see only gaudy images and sound. But... in all honesty, that's what makes me -me-... it's as much 'who I am' as anything else I can think of. My heart of hearts is an eager girl waiting at the campfire for the next wild tale of fancy to be spun by the Family elders. Of all the things about me... this thing I wish least to change. Losing that impulse and need to be lost in the story would be... death. And I've far too much yet to do to toy with notions so severe.

So yes... sometimes it stings a bit. Sometimes it knocks me to the ground, and leaves me in tears. But in the end, I am still -me-, and that's what's really important. When I'm not weaving a tale myself, it's -good- to have someone else's to dive into. And when balance returns, whatever 'wisdom' I've gleaned from the most recent sting is integrated into the whole.

Yeah, I'm rambling here. Humor me. Or skip past it. I figure the ones who even partially understand me will hang tight and see where I end up. *peers forlornly into the empty Kool Aid jug and sighs* Time to make more, I guess. Anyway, I guess what I'm driving at here is that... well... being able to feel pain [by that I mean emotional pain, not the physical pain I'd so dearly love to rid myself of] means that I'm truly alive. It's a barometer for my soul. In times past, I'd sealed all of my emotions away, and in the process turned myself into a cold-blooded sadist. Being able to feel sorrow, to feel sadness, or even to feel anger... it means that I can feel joy, and happiness, and peace. I don't often speak of it... but losing those things might well be my deepest fear. I know what I became without them... I remember what it felt like as the ice closed in on my soul. If being sure that I -never-, -EVER- go back to that means immersing myself in sadness from time to time, then that is what I will do.

As for the friend and her warnings... darling, I adore you. I know you worry about me. Thank you. *hugs* Having family that genuinely gives a shit about me is... a thrilling experience. Even at my most vexed, I love you. As for this? I'm okay... honest. And if I ever get out your way, I /WILL/ collect my hug, dagnabbit. :p

So there. *thbt!*

*hugs and cuddles from the rambling cabbit*
~Ellie-chan

Trapped

Stuck at home. Got the check to cover the deposit for the work on the Saturn deposited in the bank this morning, but the shop was closed so I was unable to drop off a payment. I'm hoping I can ambush my mother or one of my sisters to shuttle me to the garage to do that Monday... provided we're not nose-deep in snow by then.

And it comes back to being stuck at home. I'm not sure I'd go anywhere even if the car -were- running... it's the irrational dislike of not being able to go /IF/ I wished to. :p

So instead, I think I'm going to bury myself in games... I'd read, but my glasses aren't ready yet. Damned prisms came out wrong, and they're having to refabricate the lenses. Lucky me. Ah, well.

There's not a lot I can do about it anyway, so...

*hugs and cuddles*
~Ellie-chan

Of historical import? Probably not...

... but it is funny. This showed up in my email, and I thought I'd share it. Aside from the editorial comments, it's sadly accurate. :p

The Complete Military History of France

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country ever to lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing redflowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League / King William's War / French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by Britain. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by British forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

---

Classic Quote:
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." -- Donald Rumsfeld

There. I think I'm gonna go whomp on FF VII some more, now.

*hugs*
~Ellie-chan, the amused