cabbitzilla: (Shadow)
*sigh* Several things going on today...


So my sister (the blood sister kind, specifically my full sister L rather than the half sister T) is at it again. Lady C had their finances straightened out and functional again, had all the bills being paid in full on time, caught up on all the medical bills and even ironed out so that she and her husband had small amounts of discretionary money to put towards personal things. The brother-in-law there chain smokes, so his naturally goes to keeping himself supplied with cigarettes, and he's generally content with that. L's money all seemed to be going to the church... it made her happy and that seemed to be that. About eight months ago, Lady C slowly let go of the finances. She had everything running like clockwork and believed that the two of them could be responsible adults.

One of them can. T, the brother-in-law has been good. Occasional spending, but he's been pretty rock stable just with his cigarettes. They're a vice, yes, but it's a satisfying one for him. L... has once again gone off the rails. She's the one that does the bills as T has no aptitude for it; he's many things but accountant is well into the negatives. Lady C checked in on the accounts and discovered that all hell had broken loose. Heavy donations to the church, bills are way behind again, for some unGODly reason they bought a dog ($350 is vet fees plus the purchase of the dog itself) and the primary back account is buried in overdraft fees. L took all the hard work Lady C had done balancing things out and chucked it all out the window in favor of her infamous 'God will take care of us' attitude.

What the hell ever happened to good stewardhip?!

The worst of it is that the house hangs in the balance. The mortgage on the house is of the ARM (Adjustable Rate Mortgage), and come spring it adjusts itself upwards... at which point it puts them several hundred dollars over budget even if ALL 'optional' (phone, internet, cable) spending were stopped. Which means if they can't refinance, they can kiss the house good bye. In order to refinance, they're going to have to have cash to bring to the table. No Cash = No Refinance = No House... and potentially No Marriage. Having lost my own home due to similar irresponsibility, I have an intimate understanding of the equation. Granted, my marriage had been on the rocks since the sixth month (yes, it persisted for a decade in spite of that), but still the equation is accurate.

Lady C is tearing her hair out in frustration. I'm ready to drop into 'Hulk SMASH!' with my sister, who continues to donate money to the church while everything else goes to hell in an hand basket. T, last I checked, was working 50-60 hour weeks trying to make enough money to keep them afloat and he's sliding into despondency again. He's a hard working blue collar regular Joe, and this nonsense is killing him. I wonder how much more of this he can tolerate before he shrugs his shoulders and walks away with the kids.


I'm having difficulty with light today. That usually means a migraine is coming, so I've armed myself with a round of the 'Stop That!' med (frovatriptan). I'm hoping it's just a bit of sensitivity, since I'm working an afternoon/evening shift today. Most of the lighting in the building is ultrabright flourescents, which makes for things being very well lit. A shame that 'cozy' doesn't seem to have a place in the work force, as it's my preferred style of lighting. I can function just as well in the bright (most times), it just annoys me. ;) Even when I'm reading I prefer indirect lighting. I've a small lamp on my desk that gets used a lot, particularly lately when I'm up into the night hours. It's at the 'just right' level.


I'm feeling the absence of music. On my last visit to [livejournal.com profile] nightambre's place, I managed to leave behind the 150gb Buffalo portable drive that's got nearly all of my music on it. It leaves me with one album of Kid Rock, the library of David Allan Coe and a handful of Alison Krauss albums. Anything else requires excavating to locate my CDs. Well, and YouTube. Not my preferred method of operation, that much is certain; there's usually music of one sort or another running, even when I'm asleep.


I've been really enjoying my chats with [livejournal.com profile] scattermoon of late. It's nice to talk to someone that understands most all of the spectrum of 'issues' I have with life and the world at large. I wish she didn't have to face a good many of them, but we all have to play the game with the cards we're dealt, even if it means trading for new ones. :p And there're ongoing chatterings with [livejournal.com profile] rowandoll, [livejournal.com profile] nightambre, [livejournal.com profile] jhyanmar and a handful of others. *chuckle* And Lady C, must not forget her. Regardless of my cloak/uncloak status there's a chat window open with her. The last couple days have seen me uncloak, even... a pretty major change from my normal hide-from-the-world behaviour.


I've discovered the hard way just how helpful the Vyvanse is by missing a dose yesterday. The sudden lack of focus was rattling and later in the evening kicked off a mood crash that was anything but fun. It's distressing to know just how chaotic and uncontrolled I am without a list of meds. It also served to remind me of something; while I was part of Lady Winter's home, she'd nudged me back onto the Ritalin to tone down the wild focus shifts and ferret-like attention span. I went off it again in the wake of her home shutting down. I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision, as it's likely it was a financial thing when I no longer had the backing of her finances.

They checked my blood pressure Tuesday while I was in the office for the fasting blood work; 120-something over 68. The Verapamil brought it well down from the 140+ over 95, thank God. Given the history of heart issues in my family, I'm more than willing to take the med to keep it at a manageable level. I wish I didn't need the meds I'm on, but I'm aware of the purpose of each of them and know that at least for the present they're all necessary.


I think that's about it, to be honest. I need to go get ready for work anyway. Be good, my friends.
And if you're bad, take notes so I can giggle later. :)
cabbitzilla: (Default)
Rowan's old laptop (Dell Inspiron 5150) showed up in the post today (Thank you thank you thank you thank you *SMOOCH*). It's currently parked atop a china cabinet at Crystal & Kelly's place, away from the cats. The hard drive for it is at my elbow, the first of three surviving pieces of the G3 Lombard I'd tried to refurb for my niece... and the hard drive I'll pull out of it will get completely nuked and then put into the Dell Lattitude 7500 (P-II/400) that I'm refurbing for my nephew, which is getting the two bars of 256 SODIMMs that are the remaining two pieces from the Lombard.

Side note: I need to get the older (than the Lombard) Mac lappy from my brother in law. It occurs to me that it may simply be the processor card that's FUBAR, and perhaps I can make the silly thing go yet. With the 6gb drive that'll come out of the 7500, it might be a serviceable unit for Alyson (oldest munchkin of my baby sister). I've nothing for Makayla, though, to it'd have to be a something-other-than Christmas gift. Anyway.

Both the 5150 and the and the 7500 will be getting Windows XP Professional, at least in the beginning. I'm wondering if I'll be able to interest Lauren in one of the flavors of Linux; she's not a heavy gamer (like I am) instead preferring to do photo edits and use a chat client (she loved AdiumX on the Lombard). We'll see.

Now, to more serious matters. I have been poked (rather strongly in one case) for my 'state of the Ellie' post a few days back. I spent a handful of days trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, and finally turned to someone I could trust totally and -asked-. A long conversation ensued, and finally they managed to punch a hole through my addled logic and explain it bluntly. Apparently what I laid out isn't 'survivable' on its own, leaving people wondering if I was going to punch my own clock to be done with it all.

No. I won't go out that way. There ARE some good things, and those are what keep me going:
  • I'm an avid gamer. Both Ragnarok Online and Dwarf Fortress get installed wherever I'm going to spend more than a couple hours at (well, except for work). I pour a lot of my time and energy into RO, constantly fiddling with builds and stats to find a mix that works effectively without betraying the 'personality' I've projected into each character. Yeah, I'm nuts. Sue me and get over it already.
  • My close family has been nothing short of wonderful this year, at least in the 'supportive' department. I number several among them that are not strictly blood relatives; some of them are far closer to me than most of my extended family. Crystal and Kelly factor in here, as does Rowan and a handful of others both on and off LiveJournal. After years of operating without one, I finally have a safety net.
  • I have two darling, pampered and utterly spoiled guinea pigs that continue to be a source of delight and amusement. Winkerton is an american short hair, and Mollie is a silkie. Mollie's appeared in my journal before, being the escape artist during a vet visit. When I get a chance I'll link this to that post. FOUND IT!
  • I have a job that I like, reasonably so anyway. It has its ups and downs, but overall I like the folks I work with. While I'm not looking forward to the large project ahead of me, it'll at least give me incentive to learn new things. That's a positive, right? :)
  • White chocolate peppermint bark. M-O-O-N that spells peppermint bark, laws yes.
  • A -ton- of new music dropped in my lap through the course of the year. A full catalogue of Waylon Jennings, some My Chemical Romance, more Nightwish, a truckload of Alice Cooper, Alyson Kraus, Neko Case... hell even some King Diamond found its' way to me. Woot!


I'll babble extensively about my RO characters later... my main is a mage named Corinna. Come say 'hi' on the Valkyrie server!

Anyway, it's omnomnom time.

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November 2012

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