cabbitzilla: (Shadow)


I am an
Echinacea


What Flower
Are You?


"You are a health conscious person, both your health and the health of others. You know all about the health benefits and dangers of the world around you."


So much going on right now. I... will try to make a real post when I've sorted some of it out.

Hopefully 'sorting it out' won't require throttling my sister and her husband. Hopefully.
cabbitzilla: (Shadow)
*sigh* Several things going on today...


So my sister (the blood sister kind, specifically my full sister L rather than the half sister T) is at it again. Lady C had their finances straightened out and functional again, had all the bills being paid in full on time, caught up on all the medical bills and even ironed out so that she and her husband had small amounts of discretionary money to put towards personal things. The brother-in-law there chain smokes, so his naturally goes to keeping himself supplied with cigarettes, and he's generally content with that. L's money all seemed to be going to the church... it made her happy and that seemed to be that. About eight months ago, Lady C slowly let go of the finances. She had everything running like clockwork and believed that the two of them could be responsible adults.

One of them can. T, the brother-in-law has been good. Occasional spending, but he's been pretty rock stable just with his cigarettes. They're a vice, yes, but it's a satisfying one for him. L... has once again gone off the rails. She's the one that does the bills as T has no aptitude for it; he's many things but accountant is well into the negatives. Lady C checked in on the accounts and discovered that all hell had broken loose. Heavy donations to the church, bills are way behind again, for some unGODly reason they bought a dog ($350 is vet fees plus the purchase of the dog itself) and the primary back account is buried in overdraft fees. L took all the hard work Lady C had done balancing things out and chucked it all out the window in favor of her infamous 'God will take care of us' attitude.

What the hell ever happened to good stewardhip?!

The worst of it is that the house hangs in the balance. The mortgage on the house is of the ARM (Adjustable Rate Mortgage), and come spring it adjusts itself upwards... at which point it puts them several hundred dollars over budget even if ALL 'optional' (phone, internet, cable) spending were stopped. Which means if they can't refinance, they can kiss the house good bye. In order to refinance, they're going to have to have cash to bring to the table. No Cash = No Refinance = No House... and potentially No Marriage. Having lost my own home due to similar irresponsibility, I have an intimate understanding of the equation. Granted, my marriage had been on the rocks since the sixth month (yes, it persisted for a decade in spite of that), but still the equation is accurate.

Lady C is tearing her hair out in frustration. I'm ready to drop into 'Hulk SMASH!' with my sister, who continues to donate money to the church while everything else goes to hell in an hand basket. T, last I checked, was working 50-60 hour weeks trying to make enough money to keep them afloat and he's sliding into despondency again. He's a hard working blue collar regular Joe, and this nonsense is killing him. I wonder how much more of this he can tolerate before he shrugs his shoulders and walks away with the kids.


I'm having difficulty with light today. That usually means a migraine is coming, so I've armed myself with a round of the 'Stop That!' med (frovatriptan). I'm hoping it's just a bit of sensitivity, since I'm working an afternoon/evening shift today. Most of the lighting in the building is ultrabright flourescents, which makes for things being very well lit. A shame that 'cozy' doesn't seem to have a place in the work force, as it's my preferred style of lighting. I can function just as well in the bright (most times), it just annoys me. ;) Even when I'm reading I prefer indirect lighting. I've a small lamp on my desk that gets used a lot, particularly lately when I'm up into the night hours. It's at the 'just right' level.


I'm feeling the absence of music. On my last visit to [livejournal.com profile] nightambre's place, I managed to leave behind the 150gb Buffalo portable drive that's got nearly all of my music on it. It leaves me with one album of Kid Rock, the library of David Allan Coe and a handful of Alison Krauss albums. Anything else requires excavating to locate my CDs. Well, and YouTube. Not my preferred method of operation, that much is certain; there's usually music of one sort or another running, even when I'm asleep.


I've been really enjoying my chats with [livejournal.com profile] scattermoon of late. It's nice to talk to someone that understands most all of the spectrum of 'issues' I have with life and the world at large. I wish she didn't have to face a good many of them, but we all have to play the game with the cards we're dealt, even if it means trading for new ones. :p And there're ongoing chatterings with [livejournal.com profile] rowandoll, [livejournal.com profile] nightambre, [livejournal.com profile] jhyanmar and a handful of others. *chuckle* And Lady C, must not forget her. Regardless of my cloak/uncloak status there's a chat window open with her. The last couple days have seen me uncloak, even... a pretty major change from my normal hide-from-the-world behaviour.


I've discovered the hard way just how helpful the Vyvanse is by missing a dose yesterday. The sudden lack of focus was rattling and later in the evening kicked off a mood crash that was anything but fun. It's distressing to know just how chaotic and uncontrolled I am without a list of meds. It also served to remind me of something; while I was part of Lady Winter's home, she'd nudged me back onto the Ritalin to tone down the wild focus shifts and ferret-like attention span. I went off it again in the wake of her home shutting down. I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision, as it's likely it was a financial thing when I no longer had the backing of her finances.

They checked my blood pressure Tuesday while I was in the office for the fasting blood work; 120-something over 68. The Verapamil brought it well down from the 140+ over 95, thank God. Given the history of heart issues in my family, I'm more than willing to take the med to keep it at a manageable level. I wish I didn't need the meds I'm on, but I'm aware of the purpose of each of them and know that at least for the present they're all necessary.


I think that's about it, to be honest. I need to go get ready for work anyway. Be good, my friends.
And if you're bad, take notes so I can giggle later. :)

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cabbitzilla

November 2012

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