cabbitzilla: (Default)
I have been betrayed
Chain of command against me
Do I stay or go?
cabbitzilla: (Default)
This has been a fun one to watch unroll.

First there was THIS.

It was followed shortly thereafter by THIS.

Gabe put his final thoughts on the matter HERE.

And then I found THIS. Update 26 is the coup de grace.

Another bully bites the dust. I feel bad for the man's family, though.
cabbitzilla: (Default)
Cue house lights in 3... 2... 1...
and...
December Doldrums.
Yeah, welcome to the blues. No good reason for them, really, they just are, and I hit them regular as clockwork about this time of year. Too many things going on and not enough motivation to do anything. Yeah, I know, mope mope mope. Anyway.

The driver's door lock on the Explorer that'd been sticking has decided to take things to the next level. Christmas Eve it decided to jam completely; when I went to open it from the inside it caught briefly and then went *POPsproinnnnnngKLUNK* and the handle just flops around now. In order to open the driver's door, I have to hope that the lock pops up and then roll down the window and use the outside handle. Fun, eh? :p

And the cats are fed, and I've had a nap and things are still a bit blue, but now I know why they're achey... it's pouring rain outside, which means my boyfriend Arthur Ritis has come to visit again. :p Heh. At least it's not snow. :) Maybe I'll give Mom a call and yammer with her for a bit.
cabbitzilla: (Default)
The combination of LiveJournal's release of the bombshell that was Patch 88 and Igrick's arrogance finally drove me out. Blessedly, the nice folks at DreamWidth were quite friendly and welcoming. Setup thus far has been relatively painless. Those of you who are DW users, please pipe up so I can get you added properly over yonder. Those of you who're OpenID users, let me know that too. What the hell, let's party, eh? :)

I'm going to continue to monitor things here, have no fear. Far too many things still going on here. But all of the posts will be cross-posts from the DW account, and when the paid time here expires in May LJ isn't very likely to get any more of my hard fought for money. I simply no longer trust them. Between the arrogance of certain folk in the CoC, and the constant DDoS attacks and the fucked up patches that everyone hates but are expected accept [10,000 voices hated Patch 88 in Beta and they rolled it out -anyway-. Thanks, Igrick, you arrogant bastard.] I no longer feel comfortable funding LJ.

Eleven years. That's how long I've been with LiveJournal. A long time. I've been patient, I've been generous, I've been forgiving. And now I've been pushed too far. Sorry.
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Testing to see if I have the cross-posting set up properly...
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For those with an interest in such things...
Tonight National Geographic is airing a one hour special, Hitler's GI Death Camp, on the Nazi subcamp of Buchenwald known as "Berga." It's of importance to me, you see... my uncle Norm is a survivor of Berga, and will be on the special at least briefly. My DVR at the trailer is armed to grab it in case I miss it tonight, so it may be tomorrow before I get to see it. It's not something he talks about easily, as you can probably imagine, though we've spoken of it quietly over coffee late at night during several of my visits. According to my aunt, I'm the only person in the family he'll talk to about it besides her.

If the history interests you, it's on at 9 Eastern tonight.
cabbitzilla: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]Santa's Slay
It's just not the holidays without Bill Goldberg as Santa...
cabbitzilla: (Shadow)
Last night's "migraine - meds - relief - mood crash - migraine x5" combo was brutal. Salvation came in the form of my Guardian Angel, Rowan, who bolted me back together enough for me to totter off to bed and get more meds into me so I could pass out. I could do without nights like that. Thank you, Momma, for being there (again) to make the catch. *sigh* So very tired today...

RIP

Oct. 5th, 2011 10:22 pm
cabbitzilla: (Default)
*raises a glass to Steve Jobs*
cabbitzilla: (Default)
Still more chaf in the asylum. It seems to be becoming a habit. Better than strangling people, I suppose.
cabbitzilla: (Default)
Another post to the asylum, more material for the shredder.

*Snerk*

Jul. 13th, 2011 08:07 am
cabbitzilla: (Cabbit Love)
This will surprise absolutely nobody:
DisorderYour Score
Major Depression:Extremely High
Dysthymia:Very High
Bipolar Disorder:Very High
Cyclothymia:High-Moderate
Seasonal Affective Disorder:High
Postpartum Depression:N/A
Take the Depression Test


Fortunately there's a raw control in place between will, meds and family (both blood and other) safety net that keeps 90% of this mess in check. It's all still there, behind the veneer, but I can at least feel human. As the Paxil dose steps up things -are- improving as well, so that's also a plus. So here's to better living through chemistry, eh?

*blows kisses and goes back to work*
cabbitzilla: (Shadow)
Those of you that keep up with me in real time, or via SL or FB, are aware that I've been having som pretty serious issues with my medications. I'm on three meds that're considered psychotropics (I believe that's the word for them), each with a different purpose.

  • Lamictal (Lamotrigine) is a stabilizer, designed to quell the sometimes violent mood swings that plague me in an unmedicated state. My mood is rock steady, which means it's doing it's job quite capably.
  • Abilify (Aripiprazole) is in play as a 'social anxiety supressor', designed to lock down the panic attacks that've wreaked havoc in my life for over 30 years. There've been no signs of more than a simple OMG rush that faded immediately for over a year, which means it's doing it's job quite capably.
  • Elavil (Amitriptyline) has been 'in service' the longest, an older tricyclic depression med that is a mood elevator. It -also- gets prescribed as a migraine suppressant, so it'd been doing double duty for nearly a decade. Over the last two or three months my mood has been steadily sinking and the migraines have been getting worse and more frequent until it became evident even to me that There Is A Problem Here. Stepping up the dosage had zero effect, steppind down the dosage had zero effect... it was redily apparent where the problem was.


Thursday I attempted to get an appointment sooner than my next scheduled visit (May 18th), and was told that there were no openings to accomodate me. Fine. I still felt I had solid control despite the depression that was ripping me down.

Yeah, not so much.

This morning took Crystal and I up to the same area that the doctor's office is in. So after the book sale, I stopped at the clinic to beg for an appointment sooner than the 18th, and got seen immediately by a very worried psychiatrist. I'd had a vague recollection that the doc I needed to talk to worked a mid-day shift on Saturdays and blessedly my memory didn't betray me. It turns out that nobody had bothered to ask him about seeing me. In 12 years I've never shown up needing an emergency appointment, so there was some small amount of shock in play there. I'm now being stepped down off the no-longer functioning Elavil, and stepped up on Paxil (Paroxetine). I see him again next Saturday afternoon, at which point we'll hopefully know what the Paxil will do to me. I was told "I will see you, even if I have to stay late". I no longer need to worry whether the psych cares, it seems.

I've never seen Doc R actually worried; for years it's simply been renewals or minor tweaks... this time it was a flat out failure of one of the psychotropics I take. I'd wondered for years how much of what I said was understood; English is obviously a second language for him. But he took one hard look at me and his English was suddenly crisp and clear. Kinda spooky; I'm not used to startling docs like that. And I'm definitely not used to a doc startling me like that.

*exhale* And now we wait and see what happens...
cabbitzilla: (Default)
As far as birthdays go it's been decent. And now I go off to visit the village of Passoutdom. *thud*

*sigh*

Apr. 19th, 2011 08:49 pm
cabbitzilla: (Default)
Good night, Sarah Jane.

Hrm

Apr. 1st, 2011 05:26 pm
cabbitzilla: (Annoyed)
Well, the Mini showed up today, the heralded replacement for the aging and failing G4/400 that is Archive. Plugged it in, fired it up, oohed and ahhed a bit at 10.6 and then settled in to digging about and figuring out what got moved to where.

Ah, yes, Migration Assistant. The tool that's supposed to ease my tormented soul and make painless the transition to the newer, brighter, far faster and much cuter replacement. Yes indeedy it's rumored to be a handy bugger.

Except it crashed midway through. :(

So I've been back upstairs and set it up to try again. The two machines share a switch upstairs, so it doesn't trouble the rest of the network here while it's thrashing the drives, but the 3+hour ETA doesn't exactly warm my black little heart, you know? I omitted the one user that I -know- is corrupted in hopes that it was the cause of the crash; while I've been beachballed many a time, it's not often that a program or service outright crashes and burns. Yes, crashes happen, but it's not a common experience.

If the more limited scope doesn't help, I'll be down to doing the process for each specific user in an attempt to fully isolate the problem. I've already discovered a couple of spots where I'll have to reinstall software or manually set access privileges. *exhale* The joys of upgrading.

Once it's all done... well, I'll then (in theory) be upgrading to Delicious Library 2, which was the point of the entire process. It requires a minimum of OS X 10.5, and the G4/400 was at the end of the line with 10.4.11... stuck running DL1, the original and less capable version. Dog slow and plagued by quirky little 'issues', I've still got two libraries (mine and just under 1k books and Crystal's at just under 1.6k) built up that need to be transferred across. I don't want to have to re-scan everything. I might just cry. :( So here I sit with phalanges crossed.

I hate waiting.
cabbitzilla: (Default)


R.I.P.
Molly Flanders Haithcock.

She turned 7 in September... tonight she crossed the Rainbow Bridge to join Oliver Pigglesworth III (Ollie), Kweepie Mapwetter, Gustavus Adolphus Piggius (Gusbutt) and Queen Victoria of the Green Beans (Vickie). I'm still sobbing, but I know I've got to try and keep myself occupied. Mommas aren't supposed to have favorites, but she was mine. My queen, my hellion, my adorable little rascal. From tiny little ball of fluff to dignified matriarch, your life intersected with mine. Momma loves you so very much. Sleep well, little girl.

This is what went to the Guinea Pig Daily Digest:
My precious Molly crossed the Bridge tonight, taking a chunk of my soul with her. She turned seven just a couple months ago, and up until this afternoon still had the world by the tail. Feisty and headstrong, she ruled over all. Treats came on -her- schedule according to -her- preferences or she'd give me 'the butt'... turning herself away and hitching up her rear end at me. She was my queen bee and knew it.

She died in my arms tonight, from what the vet said looked like a heart attack. The vet noted that she was just a tiny tad underweight and quite old, and shook her head sadly. She's bundled up in her favorite towel... tomorrow morning I'll take her remains up to Heavenly Days in Urbana and see to my final duties. I feel cold inside, like someone's emptied me and left me all alone. Winkie, Pumpkin and Bennett are all out of sorts and upset, Winkie easily as upset as I am. Although they weren't cage mates (both were too old to be spayed/neutered by the time I had space big enough for them), they'd sat side by side for years, and he's angry/upset that 'his woman' is MIA. They used to sit for hours nose to nose through the bars, sometimes even passing treats back and forth. Molly never shared her blueberries, though anything else was workable.

I'm babbling. I'm sorry. I miss my baby girl so badly. I'm going to go curl up and cry now.

~Ellie, Winkerton, Bennett and Pumpkin
~Remembering Olli, Kweepie, Gus, Vickie and Molly.

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